No chase, no game, no catch? Mutterings on today’s dating scene.

3

23. November 2016 by swissfitchick

I can’t help but wonder – are strong, single and self-confident women in their mid thirties the modern-day equivalent of a leper? And – are alpha women even considered dateable for alpha men?

Take a sip first. Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

Take a sip first.
Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

And sit down. Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

And sit down.
Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

I didn’t even have to do any kind of research to come across an article about the dating destiny of the aforementioned women. In a world of ghosting, love bullying, blaring bars (as in explanation marks – rule is: not to use them), mistrustful cynicism, broken marriages, the three dots game and swipe left on tinder – how do we manage to go back to the careless smooching at parties, hanging out at the lake with joints and beats all Sunday afterparties and then, all of a sudden, you’re the cool couple? The time, when our schedules were as open as our hearts – does that sense of adventure still flicker in us? Or is everyone worn down by babies, breakups, paramount schedules and other baggage? Is our age, wisdom and strength we grew and gained throughout the years inextricably linked to a dating disaster?

Hanging out at the beach at least. Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

Hanging out at the beach at least.
Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

With a side of seasons changing. Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

With a side of seasons changing.
Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

The market these days is hard, competitive and full of triggers for self-doubt. It is soaked with bad past experiences, dates traumata, game players – yet dreams and needs. As fabulous, cool and exciting a single life is – the longing for love will always prevail.

Rules rule the mid-thirty / early-forty dating market and dare you to show openly what you actually want and feel. Boring. Light. Too easy. Too available. Not attractive. No chase, no game, no catch. Alpha women should present themselves like one – never even think of revealing that side of the fragile, delicate princess inside of you who wants to be protected. And please – don’t expect to get a serious story with an alpha opposite. They don’t want you to steal their show, nor do they have the space and time to deal with your temper. Affairs (as in ‘a fling’) between alphas are fun, intense, ego boosting and exciting. A relationship between alphas is a fuckin’ competition. So, this leads me to wonder – are we actually looking for what we really want? Or is it time to change our pattern of predation? Are we intentionally attracting what we subconsciously think is right for us at that time and place? If we have self-worth issues, is it up to us to stop chasing someone who is potentially going to hurt us? What if we skip the first row of alphas, switch to the second row and check out the betas?

Which row are you in? Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

Which row are you in?
Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

All the freedom. Top of Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

All the freedom.
Top of Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

No matter whether you are a single female or male out there, it is a damn courageous achievement to stay sane in today’s market; to fall, be disappointed, scared off, or dumped – and still going out there, meeting people, taking the risk of being hurt again or meeting another titillating creeper. Single mid-thirty alphas and betas are surrounded by pitiful and smug faces, by silent compassion or/and scared looks by spouses who fear influence of the power of the single vibes on their partner. Or jealousy. Because clearly, single people have the freedom everyone had, before they got knocked up.

Don't hide. Go out there and have fun. Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

Don’t hide. Go out there and have fun.
Playa de Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

Not dangerous. Beach House Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

Not dangerous.
Beach House Benajarafe, Andalusia, Spain, November 2016

Just over here, eating my sandwich. Cafe el colmado, Benajarafe, Spain November 2016

Just over here, eating my sandwich.
Cafe el colmado, Benajarafe, Spain
November 2016

But, don’t give up. Lock down your emojis – that’s an order – and use proper sentences. Karma says, one good date equals several bad dates…..even in an ephemeral world like today’s, we’re very close to succeeding. Welcome to the age of uninnocence.

xxx,

Luce

3 thoughts on “No chase, no game, no catch? Mutterings on today’s dating scene.

  1. Can I keep the poop emoji though?😉

    Guess where I was today? Your beach spot on Catalina Island. Miss you!!!

  2. I think we should lock down the emojis.

    Also, the grass is not always greener. I am beaten down by babies (or really just one baby) today.

    Love you and the writing in this post. It’s was a witty wordplay, and it ticked my tongue, in a good way of course.

  3. LJ says:

    Early 40s checking in…raising hand…agreeing 100% le sigh

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