The perfect flaws

2

5. November 2016 by swissfitchick

Much to my dismay, I`m not perfect. Shocking news I know, but I myself have had ample occasions to recognize this in the past 38.5 years than I would ever care to admit. Now today, I took the elusive decision to let you all in on the secrets of my flaws and imperfections, which – while growing older and wiser – I`m starting to embrace and own.

Flaws and Friends. Cleveland, Ohio, September 2016

Flaws and Friends. Cleveland, Ohio, with Laura and Meghan, September 2016

Let’s play – scratch that. This is serious stuff.

1.)  I usually want to have my cake and eat it too. Who doesn`t! Despite being taught by the Rolling Stones ‘You can’t always get what you want’ – I’ve been blissfully ignoring this wisdom for years and going for all or nothing. I mean – how can you NOT eat the cake when you have it – I`ve always aimed to go all the way to get all that I want. Sort of like a pubescent 13 year old.

All in. ArtCampus Kettenreaktion, Switzerland, October 2016

See it all. ArtCampus Kettenreaktion, Switzerland, October 2016

Don't hang on, let go. ArtCampus Kettenreaktion, Switzerland, October 2016

Don’t hang on, let go. ArtCampus Kettenreaktion, Switzerland, October 2016

2.) There`s not even a hint of structure in my closet. I may have shelfs with only shirts or only underwear or only pants – heaped in mountains of course. I`ve made several active attempts to improve  the order of (and count) my clothes – yet my inner rebel has always prevailed and I ended up throwing the fresh laundry in the vague direction of the closet while sending a prayer that I will find it again when I need it. So far it`s worked. I also haven’t bought jeans in about two months after realizing that I might have an inappropriate relationship to them and need some Levi rehab.  It’s a tough station. Very tough.

Jeans in use. CrossFit shooting, February 2016

Jeans in use. CrossFit shooting, February 2016

Jeans, jeans, jeans. CrossFit Basel, May 2016

Jeans, jeans, jeans. CrossFit Basel, May 2016

3.) My teen kids keep telling me that I look cool and casual, though I got to admit, that I`m very careful and strict about how I look. I may not care what anyone thinks about my appearance as in body, clothes, hair, jewellery, my tattoos etc., which is true – I don’t give a damn. However, I happen to be slightly vain and my daily look is carefully chosen and taken care of.  Yes, I feel very comfortable with myself but – lo and behold – even I have moments when I stand in changing rooms under the glaze of ghastly peering lights and frown, resulting in bouts of smothering uncertainty at not liking what I see. This lasts from 10 minutes to a day until I give myself a jolt, shake off the dust – or the insidious voice of doubt – and remember how fabulous and lucky I am and walk away.

Take a break from doubts. Milano, Italy, July 2016

Take a break from doubts. Milano, Italy, July 2016

Silver linings everywhere. ArtCampus Kettenreaktion, Switzerland, October 2016

Silver linings everywhere. ArtCampus Kettenreaktion, Switzerland, October 2016

4.) I`m a confident, funny, strong and cheerful human being, I love life with a passion and I love what I do. I shape my lifestyle exactly the way I want and enjoy it and I am grateful for all the freedom and options life offers. Hence, I feel lonely sometimes. Ironically, I want to stay by myself, because I have a massive effin` problem with trust. Not to my closest friends of course – they mean the world, life and everything to me, but – in the end, I trust myself only and as long as I know I rely on myself only, I feel fine. I have a problem giving anyone my full trust, commitment and heart – I`ve had too many failures with such situations and am not even going there anymore. It`s kinda sad as I`ve always believed in love – albeit, today I only let casual and occasional entourages into my life without any serious meaning behind it. This makes me sad and melancholic at times – most of the time I prefer the safety of being by myself and blank out the longing for closeness and togetherness. Doesn`t float everybody`s boat of course, but it works fine and dandy for me.

Be with people who make you happy. Toa and I at fleamarket, May 2016

Be with people who make you happy. Toa and I at fleamarket, May 2016

Gain strength. Olympic Weightlifting competition, CrossFit Basel, October 2016

Gain strength. Olympic Weightlifting competition, CrossFit Basel, October 2016

5.) My general education is below par. Learning things in theory has never been my forte and even today, discussions around general educational stuff don`t feature among my shining moments. I may perform very well in social skills, writing, languages, music and I am improving in photography … plus  I`m very disciplined when it comes to training and my health – still, I learn by doing, not by reading or listening. I simply can’t save that stuff in my blonde brain and whatever these adults at school taught me while I sat there daydreaming or crafting the next joint for the break under my table – I`ve forgotten. I must admit that I always feel a little reserved when my teens start to ask me questions about politics and whatnot. These are the moments when, all of a sudden, I have a plethora of subjects to change, things to do or the pressing urge to make important phone calls.

Girls force. Olympic Weightlifting competition, CrossFit Basel, October 2016

Girls force. Olympic Weightlifting competition, CrossFit Basel, October 2016

Take up space. ArtCampus Kettenreaktion, October 2016

Take up space. ArtCampus Kettenreaktion, October 2016

Flaws and rough edges are part of us and make us the unique people we are. They may fade, reappear or change – but we all have flaws and will always have them. It’s a good thing and nothing we have to beat ourselves up for. Embrace them, own them, be proud of them. While fighting them is the best recipe for disaster, celebrating what you can’t change is the recipe for happiness.

On sunlit places we lay dreamin'. Exhibition of Mike Wolff at ArtCampus Kettenreaktion, Switzerland, October 2016

On sunlit places we lay dreamin’. Exhibition of Mike Wolff at ArtCampus Kettenreaktion, Switzerland, October 2016

xxx, Luce

2 thoughts on “The perfect flaws

  1. Tara says:

    Sometimes I think we are twins in the way you describe your feelings – although you write much better than I ever could! #4 is me to a T. I also don’t think flaws are a bad thing or things that must necessarily be changed, so long as you are cognisant of them.

  2. At first I thought the caption on the opening pic was “Flawed Friends.” HAHA! I understand so many of these… I’m terrible with instant gratification too. I’m also crazy selfish… which maybe comes from being single for so long? I’m working on learning compromise… and it sucks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,013 other followers

Follow me on Instagram!

Throwback to last Monday. Morning Workout with a view #crossfit #fittravel #sunkissed #spain #traveling #beachlife #looktheocean #gypsy

Follow me on Pinterest

%d bloggers like this: