11. September 2016 by swissfitchick
Traveling is my jam, we know that by now.
Traveling by myself just as much.
Do I even want to post this post? Well, I started, so I might as well finish….
So. When I board the plane and eagerly await the moment when I step out at the airport building and inhale the air of the outland, I start to ponder. All these hours in the sky, over the rainbows and above the clouds. I love to watch the clouds go by, the amazing majestic mountains or the multitudinous scattering of city lights from my perch above.
I`m a gipsy at heart, I love being free and wandering, wandering everywhere. I regularly had a deep urge to break all the rules when I was a young rebel – today I just want to do what I want, when I want. Hence, I know where I need to adapt. I`m an extrovert, so I`ve not the slightest problem getting to know new people and making new friends, I`m a social butterfly or at worst even a social whore in a non-sexual way of course… but you get my drift.
Whenever I sit on that plane, I just feel free. And sometimes lonely. I feel incredibly lonely, in this crowd of families and couples, starring at me in wonder, as to why on earth this blonde, inky, muscly girl is all by herself and what the hell she’s actually doing out there in the world. I cry on planes, every single time. I don’t know what it is, but plane rides are so fucking emotional. Right, I watch all the corny, cheesy and teary movies which make me snivel even more – says she, who keeps on bragging for never crying in public and who is generally averse to any weepiness.
There is this scene in Sex and the City (I know, it`s just a silly ol` nincompoop TV show, but I love it with a passion and I can actually relate to several scenarios) – Carrie’s birthday. Her friends all come late to her dinner and she sits there all by herself and it ends with her paying for her own birthday cake and leaving the restaurant. She then meets up with the ladies, who assure her that she`s not alone. And she isn’t. I`m not. I have the most wonderful friends in this world. They`ve got my back whenever I need it, they`ve been through all the shit I faced, all the trouble I caused and all the parties we crashed. They mean everything to me and I would do anything for them.
But as Carrie says in the scene: it`s not the same. As much as I love my freedom and my independence, and as much as I dislike stories about complicated and unhappy relationships – there are moments when you wish to be number one for someone. You wish to be that very special person in someone’s life. To talk about what you`ve been through that day. The doubts. The happy moments. Or just be. And know, that this other person wants to be there and only there and nowhere else – with you.
I know how incredibly cheesy and soppy this sounds, but well, I`m no stone. And I`m telling you, if you`ve found love in whichever way, hold it close and care for it with all your heart. The grass may always seem greener on the other side, but in reality, it`s not. If you step on it, it is just like any grass. It has pros and cons. It`ll grow if you care for it, or fade, if you let it.
I`m a very happy person and I`m grateful for everything life brought to me and so curious about what it has in store for me. I’m no chaser for marriage or kids, not in this life no more, I think……I also feel no pity for myself, so please don’t you 🙂 Just sometimes, I want to share life. I want to share the happiness – just like kissing; you got to share it to enjoy it.