13. June 2016 by swissfitchick
The way I grew up in my wanna-be-hippie community, I learned to live with people around me almost all the time. I learned to be together in good times and bad. We fought and celebrated. We grew up together, supported each other, shared home, food, advice, care, laughter, time and memories.
I love to spend time alone, not talking to anyone and just doing my stuff. Yet, I am a social addict. Being around good people, communicating and interacting brings out my extrovert nature, and I feel at my best. The people I choose as my friends are the kind who make my world a better place. Who inspire me by what they are, what they do and what they say, who have beautiful hearts, who are strong and are role models, who make me laugh and who enrich my life with love, empathy, brilliance, passion, strength and support. Who know, what unconditional love means. Plus, they need to understand and reply to my weird sense of humour, which, isn’t always easy.
I myself want to be a part of these people’s lives. I want to give back what I receive – as we know, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so my goal is to make their world a better place too. Irrespective of where they come from, what they do or where they live – I am committed to a friendship 100%. Always.
There was a time when I entered an unsavoury relationship including physical abuse and I almost lost a big bunch of my friends. When the guy threw me out of his life, the cavalry in the form of my friends, showed up to pick up the crying mess – being me – and my suitcases. They brought me to a safe place and healed my wounds. I went through some seriously shitty times indeed, but even in my worst ED moments or on days when I felt like actually losing all the ground under my feet, I never stopped taking care of my friends. I lived abroad, travelled to distant places, changed careers, boyfriends, hair colours, cars and whatnot – but I never forgot my commitment. And I have never ever regretted it.
Friendships can last a lifetime if you cultivate them. It’s an effort that should feel effortless. Friendships to me are the most precious thing in my life and I would give anything for them. Anything. What would you be without your closest buddies? Yeah, what. The place I am today and the process I came through was only manageable because I was supported by my friends. If it wasn’t for them, I have no idea where I’d be.
My parents taught me what is key in any kind of relationship; and let’s face it, it’s more obvious than I care to admit – I am better with platonic relationships than with romantic ones. At least when it comes to mine – I can give perfect advice though. Just sayin’.
Anyway, – stay in touch, care for your buddies, be there for them – as they are for you. Make an effort to not lose that connection – having really close friends who are miles away from me is sometimes hard, but incredibly beautiful. PLUS: be generous, empathic, selfless and supportive. Forget envy, selfishness, jealousy, comparison and anger. First and foremost – treat your people with respect – this in the form of seeing and accepting your opposite exactly the way they are. I am critic and sceptical, no doubt – and I say it as I see it. I am honest and straight, yet never with the intention to hurt anyone.
However, sometimes the truth does hurt. I don’t expect any less from those around me; I want nothing but the truth and let’s be honest – straight and constructive feedback might sometimes be hard, but the most clarifying, refreshing and helpful source for improvement and our own development. It’s a sign of appreciation for your opposite if you tell the truth. Anything else isn’t genuine, a waste of energy and might only complicate matters.
However, I don’t judge. There might be things my friends do, clothes they wear, decisions they make – which I may or may not understand because they simply don’t float my boat. But within certain friendships, it means that as long as they are happy, I am happy. I am the first to freak out when people become judgemental about my stuff that doesn’t impact their lives or our friendship. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, I do what I want. My friends know that I can be off-beat and stubborn, and that it’s best to not try and discuss reasonable decisions with me, because, apparently I hardly ever make them. My decisions and actions are based on my adventurous, gutsy mind, my rebellious nature and my sensitive, wannabe-wise heart. Despite logical reasoning and consequent thinking might be a source of comfort for some – to me, my intuition and my heart will always prevail.
I trust this source 100% when it comes to choosing my friends – I have hardly ever been disappointed, left or broken up by a close friend. Some were only there for parts of my life and one day we went our separate ways – but my nucleus is, was and will hopefully always be by my side.
Even though I sometimes scare people with my inappropriate jokes and laughter because well – I have no self-control, my friends know and accept it…even like it. Seeing me sad or in a bad mood for a full day is basically the equivalent of a unicorn sighting. This is, when I come to think of it, a beautiful thing. So let’s hope that I still look pretty with a sad face.
Here’s to all the besties and friendships in this world – savour, celebrate and embrace them, forever.