The people I call my friends – and how you make friendships last

13

13. June 2016 by swissfitchick

The way I grew up in my wanna-be-hippie community, I learned to live with people around me almost all the time. I learned to be together in good times and bad. We fought and celebrated. We grew up together, supported each other, shared home, food, advice, care, laughter, time and memories.

Big mouth in full force first row on the far left.....friends party, home, Basel, September 1982

Big mouth in full force first row on the far left…..friends party, home, Basel, September 1982

Siblings, 1981

Siblings, 1981

Always was, still am.

Always.

I love to spend time alone, not talking to anyone and just doing my stuff. Yet, I am a social addict. Being around good people, communicating and interacting brings out my extrovert nature, and I feel at my best. The people I choose as my friends are the kind who make my world a better place. Who inspire me by what they are, what they do and what they say, who have beautiful hearts, who are strong and are role models, who make me laugh and who enrich my life with love, empathy, brilliance, passion, strength and support. Who know, what unconditional love means. Plus, they need to understand and reply to my weird sense of humour, which, isn’t always easy.

Friendship since my birth - 38 years

Friendship since my birth – 38 years – my male BFF

The girls posse in full force since 23 years Barcelona, Spain, 2007

The girls posse in full force since 23 years
Barcelona, Spain, 2007

I myself want to be a part of these people’s lives. I want to give back what I receive – as we know, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so my goal is to make their world a better place too. Irrespective of where they come from, what they do or where they live – I am committed to a friendship 100%. Always.

Kindergarden liaison - 33 years not being apart

Kindergarden liaison – 33 years not being apart

Adopted sisters - growing up in the hippie community

Adopted sisters – growing up together in the hippie community

There was a time when I entered an unsavoury relationship including physical abuse and I almost lost a big bunch of my friends. When the guy threw me out of his life, the cavalry in the form of my friends, showed up to pick up the crying mess – being me – and my suitcases. They brought me to a safe place and healed my wounds. I went through some seriously shitty times indeed, but even in my worst ED moments or on days when I felt like actually losing all the ground under my feet, I never stopped taking care of my friends. I lived abroad, travelled to distant places, changed careers, boyfriends, hair colours, cars and whatnot – but I never forgot my commitment. And I have never ever regretted it.

Blondespack from Sydney - quad trouble

Blondespack of Sydney – quad trouble

Blondespack from Zurich - quad trouble

Blondespack of Zurich – quad trouble

Lying in between all of them is best.

Lying in between all of them is best.

Friendships can last a lifetime if you cultivate them. It’s an effort that should feel effortless. Friendships to me are the most precious thing in my life and I would give anything for them. Anything. What would you be without your closest buddies? Yeah, what. The place I am today and the process I came through was only manageable because I was supported by my friends. If it wasn’t for them, I have no idea where I’d be.

image

American Bestie 1 - Roadtrip to Vegas, my bday, 2015

American Bestie 1 – Roadtrip to Vegas, my bday, 2015

American Bestie 2 - San Diego, California, May 2015

American Bestie 2 – San Diego, California, May 2015

My English Bestie since over 12 years

So much Love for my English Bestie since over 12 years

Reunion with my Canadian Bestie after six years

Reunion with my Canadian Bestie after six years, Boston, June 2013

My parents taught me what is key in any kind of relationship; and let’s face it, it’s more obvious than I care to admit – I am better with platonic relationships than with romantic ones. At least when it comes to mine – I can  give perfect advice though. Just sayin’.

The bestest Bestie - loving each other exactly the (weird) way we are....

The bestest Bestie – loving each other exactly the (weird) way we are….

friends

The bestest Bestie - since 24 years

The bestest Bestie – since 24 years

Anyway, – stay in touch, care for your buddies, be there for them – as they are for you. Make an effort to not lose that connection – having really close friends who are miles away from me is sometimes hard, but incredibly beautiful. PLUS: be generous, empathic, selfless and supportive. Forget envy, selfishness, jealousy, comparison and anger. First and foremost – treat your people with respect – this in the form of seeing and accepting your opposite exactly the way they are. I am critic and sceptical, no doubt – and I say it as I see it. I am honest and straight, yet never with the intention to hurt anyone.

Little adopted brother - much Love

Little adopted brother

Buddies.

And the other one.(That’s such a bad picture.)

However, sometimes the truth does hurt. I don’t expect any less from those around me; I want nothing but the truth and let’s be honest – straight and constructive feedback might sometimes be hard, but the most clarifying, refreshing and helpful source for improvement and our own development. It’s a sign of appreciation for your opposite if you tell the truth. Anything else isn’t genuine, a waste of energy and might only complicate matters.

Because flatmates are awesome friends.

Because flatmates are awesome friends.

The CrossFit chicken - my kind of sisterhood <3 <3

The CrossFit chicken – my kind of sisterhood ❤

The CrossFit chicken - my kind of sisterhood <3 <3

The CrossFit chicken – my kind of sisterhood ❤

However, I don’t judge. There might be things my friends do, clothes they wear, decisions they make – which I may or may not understand because they simply don’t float my boat. But within certain friendships,  it means that as long as they are happy, I am happy. I am the first to freak out when people become judgemental about my stuff that doesn’t impact their lives or our friendship. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, I do what I want. My friends know that I can be off-beat and stubborn, and that it’s best to not try and discuss reasonable decisions with me, because, apparently I hardly ever make them. My decisions and actions are based on my adventurous, gutsy mind, my rebellious nature and my sensitive, wannabe-wise heart. Despite logical reasoning and consequent thinking might be a source of comfort for some – to me, my intuition and my heart will always prevail.

Sisters from another mister.

Blonde and brunette sisters from another mister.

Belrin connection since 2006

Berlin connection since 2006

Who rules the world - stick together

Who rules the world – stick together

I trust this source 100% when it comes to choosing my friends – I have hardly ever been disappointed, left or broken up by a close friend. Some were only there for parts of my life and one day we went our separate ways – but my nucleus is, was and will hopefully always be by my side.

Sydneylove.

Sydneylove.

Girls

Big guy with big heart

Big guy with big heart

Even though I sometimes scare people with my inappropriate jokes and laughter because well – I have no self-control, my friends know and accept it…even like it. Seeing me sad or in a bad mood for a full day is basically the equivalent of a unicorn sighting. This is, when I come to think of it, a beautiful thing. So let’s hope that I still look pretty with a sad face.

Laugh. Really hard. Traditional friends Xmas dinner, December 2015

‘Laugh. Really hard.’ Traditional friends Xmas dinner, December 2015

Kissing is like happiness. You must share it to enjoy it. My Sydney double trouble part

Kissing is like happiness. You must share it to enjoy it. My Sydney double trouble part

#doubletrouble

#doubletrouble

Here’s to all the besties and friendships in this world – savour, celebrate and embrace them, forever.

Girls Trip, Barcelona, Spain, August 2012

Girls Trip, Barcelona, Spain, August 2012

...and you will never walk alone.

…and you will never walk alone.

xxx,

Luce

13 thoughts on “The people I call my friends – and how you make friendships last

  1. Absolutely beautifully written and absolutely true.

    xx

  2. I love you bestie!!!!! Come back here and be weird and set shit on fire with me!!!!!!!!

  3. Tara says:

    I love this post so much! I can relate to so much of this, from having friends located all over the world, to almost losing many of my friends when I was with an abuser, to wanting to set shit on fire… haha

    The relationships I have with my closest friends have withstood so much already and I can safely say who I will be friends with forever, no matter how much distance separates us.

  4. This is such a beautiful post, and I’m seriously loving all the smiles and love. You’re too beautiful ❤

  5. Amy says:

    Sending this to my friends now 🙂

  6. See now I want to bust into TLC’s What About Your Friends….sing with me.

    I’m thrilled to have made the cut. Actually, I would have come to Switzerland and whupped your ass if I didn’t. I puffy heart you, and I know you’ll always have my back. The feeling is entirely mutual.

    • I am singing with you. Haha, I know you would have. But seriously, you are definitely the one who gets some of the most Information about my life…..like….all of it 🙂

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