6. January 2016 by swissfitchick
Don’t get me on the no-word. I couldn’t find a noun for bizarre, so I made one up, roll with it. It’s legit.
Thanks to my dear Amanda I get to slap out some silly randomness minus the silly, cause this weird shit happens to me in real life daily. It’s not even funny anymore. Well that’s not entirely true – it is funny, at least in retrospect.
- LAX is the worst airport. I walked at least 6 miles there to find things which I didn’t find. Having my lost-blonde face expression professionalized, I always receive help and support in my desperate situation within decimal seconds. Don’t mind me if I do implement this strategy in situations of loss (GPS-wise, that is. Happens sporadically, almost frequently.)
2. I had a 9 years old boy sitting next to me on my flight from LAX to Fiji Islands. He fell asleep and laid all over me. I am serious. You know how kiddies are when they are asleep. They are like a comatose wet bag. After 84 tries of moving him back to his seat with a subtle push, I gave up and let him sleep on my lap. He drooled. Ignorance is bliss.
3. It started raining when I left San Diego. It rained on Fiji Islands. It is pouring down since I touched down in Sydney. Who am I? I thought they said when angels travel……right. Clearly, I am not an angel.
4. Speaking of Sydney. When I first arrived here back in April last year, I took place on the wrong side of the car – a taxi. To say it was embarrassing shall be an understatement. Even more so, cause it happened AGAIN this time. The taxi driver collapsed in laughter while I found it not funny. He insisted on me driving, I refused. I can not possibly afford a 4 hours taxi drive to Bondi Junction caused by the non GPS-brain of mine.
5. I am training at CrossFit Bondi here during my 3 weeks stay. We started off with an 8 minute AMRAP of Thrusters. The curses inside of me almost came out loud. Despite sitting like an anchovy in a can for about 20 hours on the plane, my mobility was spot on, means my hips were so open. Ok, that’s a BIG #thatswhatshesaid. But you get the idea. It was a great start back into my third CrossFit year.
6. I am a jewelry whore. The airport staff had to call me out TWICE for boarding cause I got stuck at a jewelry stand in front of the gate. I literally had to sprint on the plane. I do not regret it. #musthaves. You can never have enough jewelry. Or clothes. Or Prosecco bottles in your fridge. Or sex.
7. My suitcase from San Diego to Sydney weighed exactly 23.0. SHARP. I am a genius. A suitcase scale is everything. It reminds me of conversations with Laura, when we walk through stores and she goes:’ Hey Luce, look, you need that.’ Or:’ Hey Luce, that’s for you, you’d love that.’ And I am like:’Oh, I already have one of those.’ Laura:’Of course you do.’ Like a suitcase scale. Seriously, you just have to be prepared for everything. And as long as my suitcase weighs 23kg including 3 pairs of FlipFlops, 2 pairs of CrossFit shoes, 1 pair of Sneakers, 1 pair of High Heels, 3 canisters of supplements, chocolate and cheese presents for my Sydney peeps and clothes for five weeks (preferably different outfit versions), there is nothing I need to change. Right?
8. Mental note to self: If I have to run errands, do the grocery shopping at the end. Yesterday afternoon I went to buy groceries at Coles. Lemons were priced with 1$50 each. I was torn between laughing and crying. Anyway, the point is, I walked around in the pouring rain with a basketball cap, an umbrella that got blown away by the wind (I wrote WINE first, instead of WIND. I wish.) every 20 seconds and two giant bags of clean food. It took me 2 hours till I found everything I needed and my arms were about to fall off and now I need a 2 hours back massage. So – groceries at the END. Unless you want to get a particular uncomfortable workout in.
Please tell me some ridiculous stories of yours. Don’t leave me alone here, assuming that I am the only weirdo on this planet.