12. July 2015 by swissfitchick
I had the big big pleasure to skype with my Canadian Bestie Jennifer from Vancouver past week. Jen and I met while working in the Philippines in 2007 and are Long-Distance-Besties since then. Besides some (read: 50%) silly talk and exciting updates on our lives, we were talking about how fears or doubts can be in your way to reach a goal or chase a dream – which inspired me to write this particular post. She’ll hate me for posting this pic. It’s ok, she loves me too much, so I am allowed to do that.
Before I get to the subject, let me bombard you with shit tons of pics of my fabulous weekend. We are so spoiled by summer, I want to hold on to it forever. And yeah, that’s me jumping from the Highway Bridge at lunchtime last week.
Ok, that’s that.
Now – I have a dream. A big one. And I have some goals too – some of them I dropped or one day simply started refusing to reach them – like keeping my bursting closet in perfect order, like knowing ANYTHING about Geography ( II’ve been a Flight Attendant and I am a traveller, so it’s a serious fail), stopping to eat sugar etc. etc. I mean, some things are just not made for me. Make the rule for me to restrict on chocolate and I’ll punch you in yo’ face. Try to teach me where Switzerland lays in relation to Belgium and you will walk away after an hour, shaking your head in disbelief and tearing your hair. No one wants that.
BUT, there are things I want and can. It just needs the effort. Endurance. Commitment. Faith. Belief. Dedication. Determination. Consistency.
And then I will succeed.
Let’s talk about a small choice of the little goals.
1. I want to become a better photographer.
2. I want to pass my IELTS English Test with a score 7.
3. I want to master CrossFit Skills like Butterfly Pull Ups, Handstand Walk and Bar/Ring Muscle Ups.
Number 1 is not easy, but it’s not something that is hard to stay consistent with. I will have a crash course with a brilliant photographer and I will get me some advice from my team-mate who has knowledge – and then I just experiment with all I know and shoot the hell out of me. It’s something that doesn’t have a target line – it can be improved forever.
Number 2 is something that challenges me and demands hard work. I already have a ton of homework that has to be done besides the craziness called my life and I AM scared that I fail at reaching the score. It’s the academic level and not the general level which means no one there at the test gives a fuck about my casual English I use on here.
Number 3 is the hardest. I am more than 10 years older than most of my CrossFit friends/family and many of them have done high level sports as kids or teenagers. Means, to get a skill proper in form and performance, I need a lot more practise, like an assload of it. Daily. For weeks, months. While pretty much all the others make it in no time. I don’t want to say that I feel bad because I compare myself. I don’t do that. But since I train several times a week with the competition cracks – the gap is significant and it needs a strong, stubborn mindset to not get frustrated by being constantly the weakest. Nope – for me it is great luck to be able to train with them, learn from them, be inspired by them. That’s my way to go.
So, what I said to Jen the other day was:’ Always visualize the moment when you got there. The moment when you HAVE it.’ Like, when you feel like shit and that thing you definitely DON’T want to do is cleaning your apartment. Or going for a run. Or change your linens (OMG, story of my LIFE.) And then you kick your ass and still do it and you feel SO accomplished when you’re done.
THAT is the moment to visualize. Pretend you are already there. Act like you ARE this confident person right at this moment. Cause this is the attitude you need to be able to succeed.
Like Jen, who writes and performs her own one-woman-show (Jen’s dream connected to a shit load of doubts and fears that make her thinking too much). What would YOU visualize? The announcement written on a screen/poster/advert. The moment at the end of the show, when people applaud. The moment when someone asks her what she does for living and she says:’ I am an actress.’ And she feels like a boss and not like a wanna-be-maybe-one-day-I-am-successful-actress.
If you focus on the point where you want to head to and keep visualizing this goal, you will be able to reach it no matter how bumpy the road may be. If you are passionate about that dream, you will be able to stay consistent and to overcome any hurdle. Keep that focus. If you lose the target line out of sight, you will come off the way. That’s ok too – you can always go back on track. The only person who decides how quickly to reach the destination is you. And that’s the cool thing about it – it’s all in your hands. You have a choice which you can make, every day anew. You will make some baby steps and some big steps, but as long as you keep on walking forward towards your goals you are making progress. And any progress is progress, no matter how small or big it may be.
I might not have the option to decide that I can do a Bar Muscle Up tomorrow. It probably needs more practise. Yet, I could practise Bar Muscle Ups for, let’s say 30 minutes a day and will master it in 14 days. Maybe. Alternatively, I can also decide to practise 4 skills daily together with my mobility routine which I need to rule it. That means it takes longer, but I won’t lose the practise on the other skills. My choice. My tempo. My focus. And I will get there.
I already had these amazing feelings of accomplishments and I know you do too. Having my bachelor diploma in my hand. Realizing I am recovered after 20 years of heavy disordered eating. Slapping out Toes to Bars, as easy as I always wished for. Qualifying for the Powerlifting World Championship.
The biggest lesson about chasing your dreams and letting them come true is the journey. The lesson in which you learn all about yourself, your mindset, abilities, capabilities, strength and weaknesses. The process is just as important – if not even more – as reaching the result. On your way to reach your dream you will have to face fears and some days your own courage will scare the crap out of you, that’s for sure. And they will come back trying to tell you that you are failure and that you won’t be able to go where you want to go. And that you are not good enough to make your dream come true.
It’s bullshit and we all know it deep down inside, but these thoughts keep a strong influence anyway and it can be freakin’ hard to cut those mindfuckers. Don’t play these mindgames. Try to get up every day afresh and keep on going, just keep on going as if these damn devils wouldn’t exist.The process is what teaches you what you still have to work on. The process is the ride in which you learn to handle your fears and doubts and how to overcome them. The process is your chance to practise consistency and determination and to keep up these learnings for all yet to come in the future.
So while you are chasing your dreams, your passions and your goals – enjoy the journey and trust the process. Stay focused and committed and one day the visualization becomes reality.
Tell me your advice to reach your goals.