18. June 2015 by swissfitchick
It’s Thinking Out Loud time thanks to my dear friend Amanda!
Do you know this situation, when you have a really shitty day and you feel like life and the world hates you, nothing feels right, everything feels wrong and you don’t know what to do with yourself. Sometimes it’s not only a day, it’s a whole phase of your life, weeks or even months.
And then someone comes up and cracks a really silly stupid joke and you can not help but – laugh.
And whatever hopeless situation you are in, you feel this little, tiny short moment of light-heartedness. A moment of relief and a moment of hope and courage, that this heavy shit that is loaded on your heart and shoulders might be possible to be bucked off.
I swear to you that I went through times when I thought I can not handle this anymore. When I felt like I am losing ground, completely, not only for a day or a week, but over months, the world just felt like the most cruel place to me. One of these days was the day before my father died. My Dad was my biggest inspiration. He was a musician, a professor, a great Dad to me and Christian and a loving husband to my Mom and – ESPECIALLY because he never ever lost his humor I always looked up to him. All my silliness, my loud laughter and my sass I got from him.
And even in this deep sad situation, he made us all laugh. He kept making these stupid jokes and I switched between crying and laughing, but it was the best thing to be with him and smile despite the cruel situation we sat in. He made me feel that everything and especially life is worthwhile, even though we sometimes feel like we need to give up. Maybe it was a way to ignore the true fact we were facing, but what the fuck – it made this moment so much better and there was nothing I cared more about than that moment right there.
What I want to say is, that in all these years which brought several highs and lows into my life, I never EVER stopped bursting out in laughter cause of some stupid clowns (aka my friends) around me. With all the shit I faced I can still not get enough of talking nonsense all day and collapsing in laughter cause of it. And bringing up the same old shitty jokes over and over again. It was what saved my life. Taking life light, not matter how fucking tough it sometimes is. Not taking myself so serious, cause really people, you need to be able to laugh at yourself. It’s a good thing. If you let yourself losing your humor and drowning in depression, emptiness and frustration, if you lose joy, then it gets dangerous.
As a perfect counterpart, Dad and I used to play this song on his piano and my voice together.
Laughing may not change the world right there. But it changes YOUR world for a little second for the better. It’s a moment of unpredictability that outshines every sad situation and every shit day. It’s just too funny to not raise those corners of your mouth, wrinkle your nose, squeeze your abs, spit whatever’s in your mouth all over the place, snorting on your wine, show those smiling lines around your eyes and make loud, inappropriate, light-hearted laughing noises. And you may be surprised, cause you may have been convinced that you will never laugh again. You may have sworn to yourself in the morning that this day is going to be so damn crappy that you for sure are not going to smile. And then there’s this stupid guy who makes this awful joke and you laugh. And it DOES feel good.
SATC fans, you know the movie. Mr. Big breaks up with Carrie on her wedding day and she wonders, if she can ever laugh or be funny again. I know, SATC is not very realistic, but hell, this scene just hits the freaking point. Haha.
Whatever phase in your life you may be currently, never forget to collapse in laughter from time to time. I promise, it’s healing.