And what about children?

26

18. March 2015 by swissfitchick

Wait. I need to tell you first about my miserable fail in 15.3 CrossFit Games Open WOD. Ok, basically, I try to flirt my way out of this enormous critical subject in the title. But I get to this later. Now I pretend I ask for pity. The WOD was 7 Muscle Ups (we could actually stop right here), 50 Wall Balls and 100 Double Unders – as many rounds as possible in 14 minutes. I practised Wall Balls and Double Unders like a mad woman, but no. I had to do 7 Muscle Ups before. Fuckyeah.

CrossFit

I was filled to the brim with the firm conviction and dedication that I will at least do ONE. Strict, cause all the swing stuff scares me. Now believe me, momentarily, I run for shelter if anyone asks me if I would want to practise Muscle Ups. Given the fact that we put up boxes to jump from, I just used them to do some table dance while the girlies were beating up with good sound and training at the Open Gym. It was a blast to say the least.

Though I am inspired for the new and will make it to next year. See, they all made it:

Ok. Children. Seriously, I just don’t understand how people can ask me if I want children – looking at the fact that I am not committed to anyone. Hmmmyes, there is a slight chance to be a lonely Mom, but that is definitely not what I aim for. IF at all.

I may cut it short (you all know what that means….). I am well aware that I turn 37 in 2 months and that my biological watch is ticking away. So. I don’t give a shit if I may say this out loud. I feel like I do what I love and I enjoy my life to the fullest. I don’t see a reason why I should look for something if I am at a place where I feel happy. This might sound like I pretend to be the wise ass of Switzerland, which I am obviously not (while we’re at it, I just found my carkey in the fridge today and, oh,ย  talking about a car, I crashed a ginormous bump into my car lately – so much for being a boss). But I can assure that I do have a savvy side and I learn daily.

Lucie

I can not influence what happens in relation to love and family. And I don’t feel like I want to AT ALL. I had my fair share of experiences with the former and I am extremely happy for anyone who found it. There is so much relationship, marriage and children around me and I think this is wonderful. I found my place where I am today and I will continue to do my thing day by day. What comes tomorrow, comes tomorrow. I chase my goals which are currently focused on my job and my training and I soak up all the quality time I can spend with my friends and travelling. WHY on Earth should I think about something that A) I have no freaking clue if I actually want it and B) if it will ever happen. To me, this is a waste of time. And a guarantee for frustration.

By all means, I am inspired, motivated and happy by my job and my training at CrossFit. It’s what I want to do and I work with people who are a lot more than just co workers. I am free to do what I want outside of my job – the independence and freedom I get like this is luxury to me and something I will protect and hold on to for as long as possible. Of course, here and there are persons – outside of my close circle of friends – who I feel something towards them, but I protect myself from anything that might hurt.

Bena

Is this normal? Is this disordered? Am I scared of a commitment to a partner? Do I hold a fear of loss?

I am clearly feared of loss. Anything else I don’t know and I don’t care. But I know that I do what I want to do and I do with my full ass.

YOUR THOUGHTS?

xxx

Lucie

26 thoughts on “And what about children?

  1. Cat says:

    I can really relate to this Lucy (the baby part, not the Crossfit part – I can barely manage 7 pull ups let alone MU’s…). Especially: “I donโ€™t see a reason why I should look for something if I am at a place where I feel happy.” < YES. When I get asked about the future, or probed by friends who are settling down about why/how I'm still single… I just. What can I say? I'm happy where I am! I won't lose sleep stressing over finding a mate. Bigger fish.

  2. Oh man those muscle-ups are brutal!!! I would say that you are being you. By nature we compare ourselves to others and just because the “majority” says or does something doesn’t mean that it is the “right” way. We all have different DNAs because we are meant to be different, we learned to copy ourselves. You are happy that is what is important. Don’t feel pressured it is your life.๐Ÿ™‚

    • Thank you Elsie! Sometimes it is hard to ignore all those outside comments, but I get used to it๐Ÿ™‚
      And after all I am in a happy place, so I really don’t care.

  3. What will be, will be right? I always believe life has a way of working itself out somehow in the end, irregardless of all the questions people ask. I mean, look at all the social expectations you’ve ignored so far and how amazingly far that’s got you!๐Ÿ™‚

    • Exactly! I just don’t think so much about the future, actually hardly ever. It just does not help at all – soak up the moment, that’s what is important!

  4. Literally had this discussion with a friend the other day- I swear half my friends are all getting engaged, buying houses etc and marrying off and here I am single…and I don’t hate it. You do you. Embrace it!

  5. Emily Hawkes says:

    I saw this all over Facebook yesterday – very apt: http://mic.com/articles/112910/12-women-who-had-the-best-response-to-society-s-biggest-expectation One of the quotes: “Everybody does not have to live in the same way.”

  6. First off, those muscle ups! They made them look easy! I was in the corner doing the ‘boring burner’ that was the scaled option… Urgh wall ball suck!
    I am with you on having to give reasons for things that you don’t want to and shouldn’t have to think about. I am married and have been for almost 6 years, yet right now, David and I don’t see children in our future. I know this might change or it might not and we are ok with that – it’s everyone else that has a problem with it! I always dread the question ‘when are you, or don’t you, want children?’ – we shouldn’t have to justify our answer.

    • Oh tell me about scaled 15.3 – I hated it! Believe me, I couldn’t do single unders anymore, I always wanted to do DU’s!! Horrible๐Ÿ™‚
      I am so happy you and David do your thing and don’t care about others. It’s important that YOU are happy, that’s all that counts!

  7. danielle says:

    you are living life to the max, lucie!!! what more is there? you don’t need society’s bullshit pressure and ideas for how YOUR life should be. fak that. it’s your life, full stop. as long as you feel content and love the moments, everything else will harmonize with your music. we are constantly changing, that is just the nature of all existance. nothing is permanent, so you can trust you are changing every moment. we all are. there is no need to rush to do anything but love yourself! loving yourself is really the only thing to do here and in life, ever. everything else is just a bonus.
    i’m 36 and no kids, i didn’t find my mate till last year and honestly before him i was HAPPY to be single till i was 85 then maybe take a young boyfriend. but oh well, i might still take a young boyfriend when i’m 85, if my husband doesn’t mind. i’m sure he won’t care. LOL.
    love you lucie xoxox

    • Hahaha, Danielle, you crack me up – I can totally imagine having a young bf at the age of 85๐Ÿ™‚

      Thank you for your sweet comment and yes – I am glad I came to a place where I am happy with myself and with what I’m doing and where I am heading too. It’s not always easy, but it’s a work in progress!

  8. Sarah says:

    You’re happy and it’s what matters! What kind of bothers me is that if you were a man, people would likely shrugg it off (or think you have more time anyway). Ifeel sad for people that want kids but can’t. I’m 34 and have none. If it works, great, if not, I’ll still be happy because I’m happy NOW! I’ve been with my boyfriend for 14 years (already????) and you can imagine what comments I hear because we’re not married…Maybe people that don’t understand our choices aren’t that happy with their own life or they wouldn’t care?

  9. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. You’re living the dream! And we’re going to hard core celebrate when you get here. I realized recently that I’m actually scared of loss. I think it’s like some sort of carry over from my dad dying. If I can’t reach someone I care about or they’re traveling or something, I’ll suddenly get weird anxiety. As a result, I don’t have a ton of people in my “super close” circle. BUT – once you find the person you’re meant to be with – letting someone else in isn’t even a second thought. Not that I’d have believed you if you told me this a few months ago… but trust me. xo

    • Hahaha. YOU owe me a loooong story๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚
      Thank you my Dearest. And I am totally with you on the fear of loss cause of our fathers deaths. I think it’s a rough experience to let go off and have trust again.

  10. Carrie says:

    40 year old woman here, happily married, and happily child-free.๐Ÿ™‚ Just wanted you to know you’re not alone.

  11. I tried to leave a comment earlier, but I’m not sure it worked. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. I did find my life partner (thank goodness, otherwise I never would have recovered from all the crap from my childhood/adolescence), but we decided not to have children and couldn’t be happier. Keep on living and loving life, Lucie, that’s what it’s all about!

  12. Jason says:

    Was your car parked in the fridge?๐Ÿ˜‰

  13. The topic of KIDS has come up to me more than a few occasions lately………. And um, I never know what to say because to be honest – I DO NOT WANT THEM, but then again a few years ago, I never thought about marriage or anything of that nature but now I want it!! OMFG – what!?!?! All I know is that my mom and I are best friends, and I would want a built in best friend when I am older – aka, a kid… perhaps?! Or maybe I just get a fish, yes a fish sounds great!๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Hahaha. You are the best. Tell the universe you want a best friend aka family member. Let’s see what it sends? Maybe a little mermaid? Cause let’s be honest, the fish, you would eat.

  14. All I can really say or suggest is to let go of other’s expectations of you, maybe even your own too if you feel like you’re living up to them. Life is a weird little trip and so long as you’re happy on the ride, that’s really all the matters. The rest will come if and when it’s meant to be.

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