14. February 2015 by swissfitchick
You know these lists? Things I want to do before I turn 30. Things I want to do before 2020. Things I want to do before I die.
Seriously? I would have failed miserably if I made a list like that. I mean – I once, as a kid thought I would be a Mom by now and married. Or having a ton of money and a house – well, the things people say are normal for ladies my age.
In all seriousness – I don’t feel like living by a list. Mayyyyyybe, maybe sometimes it would be good to do so and my private life would be a little less chaotic (Laundrydamnlaundry). At least I am organized in my business life. But to get back to the point – I set my goals, but I don’t set too many long term goals.
Life played so many games with me in the last 36 and a half years and pretty much nothing went the way I planned it – and that’s ok. So I stopped and decided to go with what comes. I am filled to the brim with stubbornness and I am definitely not satisfied easily with everything that life throws at me – PLUS, I very much believe that we have a huge influence to our own happiness. But still, I don’t think it would make me happy if I force myself into a scheme that ‘seems’ right. Or to feel obliged to fulfill a bucketlist.
I do things I am passionate about and which make me happy. I do them as good and for as long as possible. I want to get better at them and I want to do them daily as best as I can. And maybe I am the only 30 plus girl who lives a life like that, but I don’t miss a thing. I love to get up every day and do the things I do. And that’s the only important thing on my ‘list’. Do the things I love, do them daily and do them with passion.
I aim to achieve things I dream of, and I have visions I want to become reality. And of course I have to make sure that I have a serious job to pay my rent and my taxes and I feel best when I am surrounded by my favorite people. But I completely stopped to fear the future, to rack my brain with questions like ‘what if’. It makes me sad and frustrated, cause there will never be an answer in my present life. I went through several dark times in my life and I survived them all. It sounds super corny but seriously – living the moment is the only way to do it – at least for me.
I can not count how many times I get asked where the hell a man should fit into my busy life or if I am aware, that my time of becoming a mother is limited. And I can not even tell you how much I give a shit about these things right now. It is not on my ‘list’ for now and I know that it is not something I can plan. If it happens, fine, if not, fine as well.
There is no guarantee whatsoever that we make it through the next week. I know I may get hurt again in future or I will hurt someone. There will be sad times and happy times, shit days and fucking awesome days. But how will you know if you don’t just go there with a nosy, greedy and damn brave lust for life.
So for eff’s sake, stop worrying, get up and live.
Do you make bucketlists? What’s on them?
What’s your bravest thing you did in life?
Do you think life is projectable?