Stop judging my body – a rant

45

17. December 2014 by swissfitchick

I know, I know, it’s Holiday Season and we should all be merry and peaceful and shouldn’t say bad words and all. And I promise I won’t swear as much as I actually would like to, but yeah – if you came here for WIAW today, then I am sorry – today is a rant day cause I just HAVE to let this out. I am sorry in advance. Or maybe not. Cause it’s what I think and I am not sorry for the things I think and say out loud.

So, here’s the situation – and it isn’t the first of this kind. I had this talk yesterday to a person – I call this person X – and X told me, that a working colleague asked what kind of sports I do. X explained her that I do CrossFit and – soak this in – showed her my pictures before I started with CrossFit and after. Something like this:

LucieOr maybe this:

Lucie LucieThey are on the blog, so anyone can see/download them (let alone the thought that there are actually people who download my pics.). If this wasn’t enough of a cheek, X told that colleague (who doesn’t know me, by the way) that X thinks I look WAY TOO MUCH and EXTREMELY MUSCLY now. AND told this story to me. Like, kind of letting me know the thoughts without addressing me directly. I can’t even.

It is rare, very, very rare that I am left speechless. But I didn’t know what to say. I was like – WHAT.THE.FUCK. This can’t be serious?! Where the HELL do they think is their right coming from judging over the look of my body like this.

imageOk, hang on. I am a blogger and I post these pics of me. I share very personal stuff with the whole wide world, so basically complete strangers get to know a LOT of what’s going on inside of me, how I look, how I live and all that jazz. This way, I provide a huge platform for anyone to judge and to criticise. Fair enough. I am ok with that. It’s my choice to put all my shit out there for anyone to read, so I have to bear the consequences. I don’t have a problem with that.

But still. What pisses me off the most, is that so many of these people who tell me today that they think I look too athletic and have too many muscles were the ones who pressured me to eat more and to stop obsessing over my weight back when I was skinny. To accept the way I am and to stop depriving myself and exercising like crazy. And now, that I am actually well on the way to DO so, it still doesn’t suit their judgy minds.

‘For me, you are still the petite Lucie’. SHUT UP. I am NOT that girl anymore. Do people really want me to go back to a size when I was mentally fucked up, when I was living off a light joghurt and some carrots a day???

I wasn’t only petite, I was fucking ADDICTED.

I am SO sorry, but I can NOT reconstruct this way of thinking. Besides the fact that NO ONE needs to give a SHIT about how I look, I just can’t follow why people feel the urge to tell me at any time of my life how they think my body should look like. Yes, damn, I grew a bootey, and I like it. It’s round and tight and yes, I also have guns on my upper arms which are big, I have a buff back and quads – I ALSO like them, they give me my athletic look, they give me the strength I need for my passion – CrossFit – and 90% of the parts of my body are firm and tight – even if they are bigger than before. I probably carry a lot less of body fat with me than when I was a few kilos lighter. But so what and who cares anyway. I am freaking 36 and I am the fittest I have ever been and I intend to continue this journey. I feel good. Isn’t that enough?

imageI know and I understand, that I used to ask A LOT what my surroundment thought of my look. When I met friends, or when I was with a man, my regular question was:’ Do you think I look fat? Do you think I gained weight? Do you think I look different from the last time you saw me?’ – I get that. I believe, that people maybe still think that it’s important to me how they find my appearance. It is NOT. It is important to ME, how I look. I do have a certain expectation and goal, how I want my body to look like and I work for it. And that’s all. Nothing else is needed, no comments, no judgment no fucking showing around comparing pictures of me to strangers. I take a well-meant compliment though.

BenaMy wish is, that people would just stop judging so much. If that is concerned to my body, to my work or to the lifestyle I lead (Fancy a little summary? : ‘You know, you don’t have too much time left to build a family, yes? Where do you find time for a man if you work and train so much?’ Awwyeah.) I am not an angel, I do judge here and there and I like gossiping about celebrities and stuff, but in general, I am a broad-minded, loyal and relaxed person who is happy when others are happy – whatever way they choose to live their life or style to look.

That’s all. Please share your thoughts and stories – I’d LOVE to hear them.

xxx

Lucie

45 thoughts on “Stop judging my body – a rant

  1. People are jealous and want to see others fail. They They want what others have and they feel the only way to make up for it is to criticize what they really admire. The happy, confident, healthy people!

  2. Jen says:

    I think a lot of judgement is fear-based. People in this world are filled with it and when they see something they don’t understand or something that challenges their beliefs or ideas of the way people and the world “should be” or see someone doing something they are too afraid to do themselves – they take it upon themselves to “make things right” by expressing a judgement. If anything these people are projecting a lot of their own shit onto you through their comments about how you should live your life – they want to play it safe and are too afraid to take risks and change themselves. If they are friends or co-workers sometimes it can be a way to bring you back down to their level because they fear losing you if you keep growing and evolving faster than them.

    Most of the time people who judge aren’t even aware why they are doing it. So leave them be and keep moving forward lady! I f-ing love watching and reading about your progress. xo🙂

    • cottercrunch says:

      amen to that! fear based is usually the case. unknowingly. Love you lucie and keep the buff bod happening.

    • Thank you so SO much Jen. This was such an eye-opener! Seriously, it makes perfectly sense to me.
      And I mean, it DID take so much courage to get myself where I am today and I know how fear feels like. So this way, I do feel sorry for those people, but I am still in a sensitive state and as long as I don’t as for opinions, I really don’t want to hear those comments.
      As you say, I will keep on moving forward! Thank you Jen!

  3. Susan says:

    You’ve come a long way to get to where you are today and you should be very proud of yourself. Please don’t let comments from others ruin your day. You’re amazing and I wish more people took the extra effort to get as healthy as you are..

    Be proud of yourself. I would be!!

    Have a merry Christmas! 🎄

  4. Wow I am sitting here wordless so I can only imagine your reaction. My question is- what did X say to that person after hearing his/her opinions about your body. I know it’s easier said than done, but please don’t let the opinions of small-minded people get to you. What they think says nothing about you, but speaks volumes about them and the way they feel about themselves. You are a strong, gorgeous woman and you should be proud of far you’ve come. No one needs that kind of negativity so if anything, those opinions need not to be shared…especially when it’s not coming with good intent.

    • Exactly Khushboo, I was just the same – wordless. I really had no idea what to say, I can NOT understand why people rack MY head – don’t they have their own stuff to work on?
      But yeah, as you say, I have to try to stay where I am an not letting this stuff get me down.

  5. Pam Lambert says:

    Oh My God! Are these people jealous much? You are fit and fantastic. I’m 40 and my goal is get in shape like you! You are a role model for changing your behaviors to healthy ones. I admire you!

    Pam Lambert
    Colorado, US

  6. It is so easy for people to talk about things they don’t know and when they don’t know it must be bad. Well that is not the csse! People need to stand in the shoes of other people to truly understand that is why no one will know you better than yourself. No one will will be able to take care of yourself better than yourself.
    Much love! Xx

    • Thank you Elsie!! It is true, it is so hard to understand what one is or was going through if they never were in my shoes. And that’s exactly why I think they should stop judging – how can they judge over something they have no idea about.

  7. ” I feel good. Isn’t that enough?” – yes Lucie it IS enough!
    My body has changed so much through recovery combined with CrossFit and I am so proud of those changes. Sadly I don’t think many people actually know what it feels like to be healthy, fit and strong both in body and in mind. Our journey is a journey to be proud of, and our bodies reflect that journey – whether it be through recovery, CrossFit or sport in general. Maybe some people are intimidated by the confidence that it brings – but that’s their problem, their issue – not ours!🙂

    • I love that you found a healthy way with CrossFit and to celebrate those changes of your body!!
      You know, I am SO lucky to have a healthy and fit body today, considering what I put it through all these years. As you say, it seems like these people don’t really know what my muscles mean to me.

  8. Emily Hawkes says:

    It reminds me of the Dita Von Teese quote “you can be the ripest, juciest peach in the world and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches”.

    Some people live in the dark ages (like 5 years ago) when women weren’t supposed to lift – we were supposed to spend our lives doing cardio and yoga. Times are changing, just more slowly than we would like. You’re gorgeous, I know you know it!!!😉 xxx

  9. Hi Lucie, I came across your blog a couple months ago and I have been following it ever since. I started reading it because I too have suffered from distorted eating and have grown to embrace food and I am happy to say that I am physically and mentally stronger! When I read this post, I instantly related to it. I too get a lot of crap because of my body. I am no where near as physically built as you, which is incredibly amazing and beautiful! However, I am a slender, fit, take care of myself inside and out, but don’t deprive myself of my favorite guilty pleasures — type of girl. People who judge are doing it because they want what you are willing to do and they are not at the point where they are willing to go that far. It isn’t easy being truly health and accepting of our bodies, it takes YEARS of dedication and setbacks to get where we are at. Someone putting you do is doing it because it is their way of justifying them not being the way they want to be. If they are taking that much time and effort to bring you down, you know they are really thinking about what you are doing…which, from a health perspective, wouldn’t be the worst thing maybe? Maybe deep down you are their inspiration. Anyways, long story short…Don’t sell yourself short and keep doing what you are doing!

    • Emily, thank you so much for this comment, I absolutely LOVED reading it. I am so happy to hear that you are in a good place today and made your way through to recovery, that’s fantastic!
      And I agree with the points you mention. It’s just that I mostly look from my perspective and I hardly ever judge any bodies or lifestyles. As long as people don’t ask me for my opinion. I mean, I am happy if others are happy, so why change them? And why rack THEIR brain, if I have enough stuff on my plate to work on myself?
      Well. I guess I just have to accept it and keep on working🙂

  10. Andrea says:

    You inspire me!! I used to be super petite too but you can’t compare a past body to a present body. People that make comments about your body probably have their own issues that they’re projecting on you.

  11. danielle says:

    oh my darling, this topic is so important and SO sensitive!!! i’ve been in your shoes many times, i’ve had people comment on my weight changes… it is terribly annoying! my first reaction to you is to say f*ck them all, lol. who gives a shit about the past appearances, especially the unhealthy ones!!? we are human beings and evolve over time, nothing stays the same. ever! only ignorant people comment like this, in my opion, which is very sensitive and harsh ok. fine. i realize not everyone had dealt with addictions and disorders, but i do my best to be open minded and encouraging, and respectful of people’s bodies. i’m not always perfect but okay. i’m human!
    i remember when i was a little girl, a kid in school commented that my ass grew over the summer. i went home and almost cried, and that was the trigger for me to become anorexic after that. can you believe that stupid DUMB ass comment triggered my 20+ year disorder? such bullshit. why should i give a shit about what some dumb kid says? well so i learned many lessons and am in a place where i want to be healthy. YOU are a strong, beautiful role woman and anyone with any sense in their brain knows this. plus, to many women you are still too skinny. so what, f*ck them! f*ck anyone who doesn’t support your health and well being. F*CK them, LOL sorry my love, i’m feeling so emotional for you and probably need to relax about it. but you know how it is, hot topic.
    love you angel! xoxoxo

    • I am so sorry you had this experience at school!! And I totally know how extremely manipulative such comments can be. Some people don’t even realize what they trigger when they say things like this.
      Now we ignore the haters and judgers and just keep on rocking our healthy bodies!!!

  12. “I feel good. Isn’t that enough?” <– Yes it is. At the end of the day, your health and how you feel is the only thing that matters. Eff the snarkers. Some people are only happy when they have something to complain about — or someone to put down — so it's best not to worry about people like that. People who are in a good place don't try to put other people in a bad one. And most of the time, what people say has more to do with who THEY are as a person than who they're talking about. You rock, girl. Don't start questioning yourself because someone else doesn't understand.

    • Thank you so much Love!
      I feel the same, I think that we should build each other up than putting down….I mean, why. Doesn’t it just feel frustrating to judge someone? I am happy and glad that I am in a good place where I can respect other people’s choices. And now I just have to start ignoring the snarkers😉

  13. natasha says:

    Just don’t get addicted to crossfit or another exercise….I made that mistake and burned out and my body suffered the repercussions. If you like being that muscular so be it.

  14. You’re healthy and that’s the biggest thing here. And health is sooo much more than what you put in your body and what you do with it, like you say it’s a feeling and the only person who can judge that is you.
    I think there’s a huge tendency for people to get unnerved when they see someone else loving a lifestyle that is so different from their own, so different from their own perception of healthy. Some people like to lift, some like to run long distance / some feel best eating paleo others like to count their macros. Quite frankly it doesn’t matter who does what as long as they are happy doing it, otherwise it’s kinda like saying ‘we should all be accountants and live in London’ – it makes no sense! We’re all different and it’s that difference is so bloody awesome.
    On a side note, when I started up CrossFit one of my friends told me to ‘be careful not to get too big though’ too which I responded that I loved watching my muscles and my strength grow – for the first time in my life I actually have a booty! (For me at least😉 )
    Keep doing you Lucie🙂

    • Yay!!! Rock that bootey!! It’s so good to have one, right?
      And yes – I totally agree that the difference between all the people is so interesting and amazing.
      I mean, I never judge people who are not into CrossFit, it is their choice and what works for them, so it’s perfect right?

  15. So sorry that you have to deal with this love! That’s just frustrating. I wish people realized that when it comes to other people’s bodies, they don’t need to comment. If you’re happy and healthy, how does that effect their life in any way? People can be ridiculous.

  16. All I have to say is… fuck the haters. You’re hot. And I’m a professional(ish), so I’m right.😉

  17. Sarah says:

    Lucy, you look great and strong! And f*** those people…I also hear comments about my workouts (“you do way too much”) by people that don’t do anything or about my body (“You want a baby? Well you should begin eating normally” aka less clean apparently) but also lots of positive remarks and I try to focus on the latter. And anyway as other commentators said, as long as you’re happy and healthy, some people are going to rensent you…

    I wish you a merry Christmas with lots of cookies – I’m working from home today, it’s raining, I’m going to bake “Brunsli”…

    • Thank you so much Sarah! I know we should ignore the judgers, but sometimes it is hard too. But as you say, I try to focus on the ones who build me up!

      That sounds like such a perfect afternoon to me – I had WAYYYYY too little Brunsli this year, cause of my sick days!!

  18. Ugh. I can’t believe the things that people say out loud. Really? Why does anyone feel the need to talk about how your body looks anyway? I think you are gorgeous and healthy and strong. *Hugs*

  19. brittanylesserfitness says:

    WHAAT?! When I look at you a see a strong, beautiful, amazing woman!!!! I love muscles, and seriously you look incredible. People are ridiculous.

  20. Love this post so much. I have had the same thoughts since I started lifting weights. Feeling strong is sexy and I think you look awesome🙂

  21. Missy says:

    I think you need to start saying more in response to these people. But also make sure you don’t waste a ton of your energy doing so because these people are not worth it.

    One of my favorite ways is to ask a question… it literally makes them stumble for an answer and then they try and rephrase it and then they kind of… fade off.

    Here is the question “why in the world.. I mean REALLY… WHY would you think it is appropriate to comment about that to me?”

    Or something like this: “SO…. you felt it necessary to tell me your thoughts and feelings and judgement on MY body because….why? Because I should care? Please tell me…Is this something I am supposed to be doing? Am I supposed to be formulating opinions about your body and health so that I can tell you? Is that something people do with their time?”

    You get the picture.

    Watch what happens, Its amusing!

  22. You are always going to have haters my dear. The trick is not to let them bother you. Seriously, don’t waste any emotions on things or people outside of your control. It’s not worth it, and you’re awesome, and if a stranger or coworker thinks differently, fuck ’em, they ain’t worth your time.

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