17. December 2014 by swissfitchick
I know, I know, it’s Holiday Season and we should all be merry and peaceful and shouldn’t say bad words and all. And I promise I won’t swear as much as I actually would like to, but yeah – if you came here for WIAW today, then I am sorry – today is a rant day cause I just HAVE to let this out. I am sorry in advance. Or maybe not. Cause it’s what I think and I am not sorry for the things I think and say out loud.
So, here’s the situation – and it isn’t the first of this kind. I had this talk yesterday to a person – I call this person X – and X told me, that a working colleague asked what kind of sports I do. X explained her that I do CrossFit and – soak this in – showed her my pictures before I started with CrossFit and after. Something like this:
They are on the blog, so anyone can see/download them (let alone the thought that there are actually people who download my pics.). If this wasn’t enough of a cheek, X told that colleague (who doesn’t know me, by the way) that X thinks I look WAY TOO MUCH and EXTREMELY MUSCLY now. AND told this story to me. Like, kind of letting me know the thoughts without addressing me directly. I can’t even.
It is rare, very, very rare that I am left speechless. But I didn’t know what to say. I was like – WHAT.THE.FUCK. This can’t be serious?! Where the HELL do they think is their right coming from judging over the look of my body like this.
Ok, hang on. I am a blogger and I post these pics of me. I share very personal stuff with the whole wide world, so basically complete strangers get to know a LOT of what’s going on inside of me, how I look, how I live and all that jazz. This way, I provide a huge platform for anyone to judge and to criticise. Fair enough. I am ok with that. It’s my choice to put all my shit out there for anyone to read, so I have to bear the consequences. I don’t have a problem with that.
But still. What pisses me off the most, is that so many of these people who tell me today that they think I look too athletic and have too many muscles were the ones who pressured me to eat more and to stop obsessing over my weight back when I was skinny. To accept the way I am and to stop depriving myself and exercising like crazy. And now, that I am actually well on the way to DO so, it still doesn’t suit their judgy minds.
‘For me, you are still the petite Lucie’. SHUT UP. I am NOT that girl anymore. Do people really want me to go back to a size when I was mentally fucked up, when I was living off a light joghurt and some carrots a day???
I wasn’t only petite, I was fucking ADDICTED.
I am SO sorry, but I can NOT reconstruct this way of thinking. Besides the fact that NO ONE needs to give a SHIT about how I look, I just can’t follow why people feel the urge to tell me at any time of my life how they think my body should look like. Yes, damn, I grew a bootey, and I like it. It’s round and tight and yes, I also have guns on my upper arms which are big, I have a buff back and quads – I ALSO like them, they give me my athletic look, they give me the strength I need for my passion – CrossFit – and 90% of the parts of my body are firm and tight – even if they are bigger than before. I probably carry a lot less of body fat with me than when I was a few kilos lighter. But so what and who cares anyway. I am freaking 36 and I am the fittest I have ever been and I intend to continue this journey. I feel good. Isn’t that enough?
I know and I understand, that I used to ask A LOT what my surroundment thought of my look. When I met friends, or when I was with a man, my regular question was:’ Do you think I look fat? Do you think I gained weight? Do you think I look different from the last time you saw me?’ – I get that. I believe, that people maybe still think that it’s important to me how they find my appearance. It is NOT. It is important to ME, how I look. I do have a certain expectation and goal, how I want my body to look like and I work for it. And that’s all. Nothing else is needed, no comments, no judgment no fucking showing around comparing pictures of me to strangers. I take a well-meant compliment though.
My wish is, that people would just stop judging so much. If that is concerned to my body, to my work or to the lifestyle I lead (Fancy a little summary? : ‘You know, you don’t have too much time left to build a family, yes? Where do you find time for a man if you work and train so much?’ Awwyeah.) I am not an angel, I do judge here and there and I like gossiping about celebrities and stuff, but in general, I am a broad-minded, loyal and relaxed person who is happy when others are happy – whatever way they choose to live their life or style to look.
That’s all. Please share your thoughts and stories – I’d LOVE to hear them.