25. March 2014 by swissfitchick
Thank you for each and every comment, email, facebook messages, text messages, phone calls etc……on my last post and on what’s happened. I was absolutely OVERWHELMED by how much love and support and encouragement I received, you swept off my feet, really.
I read every single one of them and you can not even believe how much all your comforting words mean to me. I sat here with tears streaming down my face, cause your lines touched me deeply and it was so wonderful to see that all of you believe in my strength. I am so grateful for being part of this community and for having so many amazing people, friends and family around me.
Now here’s just one last thing I would want to say about this happening and then I will try and move on to ‘normal’ blogging again last week – in case my appetite makes its way back to me. If someone sees it, send it my way, mk?? Thanks. I am sick of feeling sick and a diet of red wine and chocolate eggs (thank God for Easter) is kind of suboptimal.
It’s very important to me that it is clear how very thankful I am for the time with Sandro and for all his love, support and patience. I appreciate it so much, I know everything he did was not something everyone would do and I know that I would not be where I am today, if he wasn’t at my side fot he last 4,5 years. I will never forget what he did for me. BUT – it’s also very important for me to say, that the ED was a huge part in our relationship – but it was NOT the ONLY reason why it ended. It sure had a big influence on our life together, and yes, Sandro was there to help me recover – look at me now, I am so close to be fully recovered and now he is gone. But Sandro and me had some other points in our relationship which weren’t easy and which turned out to be an issue, once it got more difficult between us emtionally. These things were ok and could be tolerated as long as there was deep love and a commitment. We found a way to handle it, cause we wanted to, cause we loved each other so much. But when the love starts to flake, you start to think if this is still ok – or if these issues are a real problem now. They appear bigger than before and add up to what already is difficult. Does that make sense?
Anyway – overall it’s this – Sandro was a wonderful boyfriend, and I tried my best to be a good girlfriend, but I definitely could have done better. We both made mistakes and we both screwed up. As cruel as this still sounds to me, but in the end, we weren’t made for each other, whatever deeper reason that may be.