(Inter-)national Eating Disorders Awareness Week

15

27. February 2014 by swissfitchick

Good morning!

First of all – thank you SO much for all your support and well wishes on yesterday’s post! You all rock, I love you!! I have the ultrasound this morning and will have to do another extended test next week – I will keep you posted!

I’m linking up with Amanda’s Thinking out Loud Campaign today in honor of the NEDA this week. Eating Disorders are still a tabu subject around here and in my opinion, we can not spread the awareness strongly enough.

Thinking-Out-LoudNEDAwarenessLogoI would like to address 3 signs of an eating disorder from the list of 10 that Amanda posted beginnig of this week. I had no idea….oh, HOW I FEEL this sentence. I was living in my calorie counting ‘healthy living’, obsessive bubble for years without even being CLOSE to realize that I had a problem.

10-Signs-of-an-Eating-DisorderI would like to address point 1, 6 and 8 today and show you how these turned out for me in my life.

1. Drastic Weight Loss

I remember very well how this started. I didn’t even consider myself as fat (I wasn’t) or chubby or anything – I was always perfectly happy with my body during my early teenage years. I was a very tall and slender kid/girl and a curvy teenager. My boyfriend back then studied medicine and learned about healthy/unhealthy diets and how they can affect our bodies. So he started to talk about this to me and we started to watch what we eat. Quite harmless. Very quickly, my weight dropped about 3-4 kilos and I got great feedback. I was surprised, cause it really wasn’t my intention to lose weight, heck, I didn’t even know what that meant or why I would think about my weight.

Past All that feedback callled my attention on that weight loss and I started to watch my diet stricter – and the kilos dropped. It was such a ‘great’ feeling of being in control and feeling lighter. Soon after this harmless start of eating healthier foods it turned into an obession and the Anorexia soaked me in.

I lost all in all about 15kg (33 lbs) within half a year. Scary, especially considering that I wasn’t overweight at all. Lucky me –  once my doctor had a very intense talk with me, I gained half of the weight back pretty quickly, which probably kept me from having long lasting health issues (I hope).

I know that being aware of weight loss is so important and of course, my surroundment noticed and told me. Unfortunately I wasn’t open for any of their feedbacks. Actually, I was proud when someone said: ‘Gosh girl, you look way too skinny!’ – I felt over the edge. Dangerous.

2. Food Rituals

I think my Mom went crazy when she had to sit next to me on the dinner table when I started my love-ritual with my light yogurt and the 3 pieces of cereals I put into it. Seriously, this was like a holy event, me eating my ‘dinner’. Cause it was so little what I ate, I had to make it big. In between tiny bites I used to gulp down tons of bubbled water to make me feel full. Watching me today would feel so ridiculous. I would want to take all the food on the table and rub it in my face, sorry.

Or talk about lunch – someone DARED to serve food on my plate. I had to do it myself and only myself. I literally freaked out if someone took my plate to fill it up with food, I panicked! I knew exactly how much (little) of everything needed to be on my plate to keep it in my foodframe. Someone dared to spoil this and my day was effed up.

Bena3. Taking laxatives / diruetics

This one is one that I only recovered from a few months back. It took me a permanent treatment in a clinic, several relapses, lies (I lied to many people that I’m not taking pills anymore) and a lot of patience. But it’s one that I profit the most health-wise, cause I feel so so much better without them. I also LOOK so much better without them. I literally ‘rejuvenated’ my appearance by a couple of years when my body recovered from all the substances. You can read about the whole story here.

I can’t recommend enough that IF you are abusing any of this sh***t, stop it TODAY. It’s no no no good for you and your body – it’s dangerous, nonsense and it will never ever make you a happier person.

Pills FI’m still in recovery, and maybe I will be for many more years, maybe forever. Being AWARE is one of the most important things in this journey. It is a start. Being aware myself and making the world aware about Eating Disorders – how dangerous, sad, and difficult to get out of they are. Please spread the word, take care of your body and your health and don’t look away if you ever see someone struggle.

xxx

Lucie

15 thoughts on “(Inter-)national Eating Disorders Awareness Week

  1. It’s scary to look back and see how innocently it all started, isn’t it? It was the same for me… just a simple desire to get healthier that turned into a full blown eating disorder. That’s why we need more awareness, and it breaks my heart to hear that it’s still such a taboo topic over there😦 Thank you for sharing your story, love… You’ve touched a lot of lives through your recovery❤

    • Thank YOU for hosting this great week love!! Yes, it breaks my heart too – we might not be the country with the highest rate, but it definitely is an issue and it makes me sad that it’s so ‘forbidden’ to talk about it!

  2. Wonderful post Lucie. Your journey and progress is amazing! Calories suck don’t they? I feel pretty fortunate that I was able to slap myself in the face and ditch my calorie counting ways and did not go down any other slippery paths but I think we need to change how society looks at what is healthy.

  3. Lucie, I have been reading your blog for a long time now and you inspire me so much. To see how beautiful and strong you are now after dealing with so much is commendable. Like you, my ED was based a lot around rituals and control. xx

  4. Lucie- you continue to inspire and show beauty with these ‘imperfections’ you dealt with- and from an outsider you are doing AMAZING. Yes you have struggles but dammit- you’re killing it.

  5. Thank you for posting this lady – I know it’s not easy, but these sorts of posts help so many people that are struggling. You are so, so amazing for coming as far as you have in recovery, and I know things are only going to keep getting better for you!

  6. Such an inspiring post just by being YOU. I’m loving how open everyone is being this week. It’s beautiful and I hope people reading can really take these messages to heart.

    • I love it too! It’s so important that we do not forget that we are all in this together – disordered or not, we can support and encourage each other with whatever challenge life has in store for us.

  7. […] being around food was a torture. When weekends on my own were dominated by binges and purges. When all that mattered in my life was being skinny, and eating as little as possible.When my body refused to move because I was too underweight. I […]

  8. […] Signs of an Eating Disorder – When does it start? […]

  9. […] I had no idea – a post in honor of the NEDA (International Eating Disorders Awareness Week) which points out 10 signs of an Eating Disorder. […]

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