8 things I learned since turning 30 – Part #2

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6. December 2013 by swissfitchick

Happy Fridaaaaaay! I was SO waiting for this weekend to come and so happy that it’s finally here! Even though it means dealing with snow and freezing my butt off.

FotoBut we’re not talking about the weather today, we’re talking a little more about my age🙂 I’ve got 4 more wise pieces of advice for you! If you missed round #1, you can read it here!

5. Let go and relax.

This one is something I worked on the hardest in the past few years and I am so happy that I get better and better each day. Things I was worried about in the past, day in and day out really don’t have me anymore or at least not in that dimension. I used to worry about what others think of me. I used to worry about my moods and why I had swings all the time. I used to worry about how neat my place and closet looks and I used to worry about my plans – that they would not be interrupted and that everything works JUST the way I planned it.

letgoSource

And so much more.

I still worry about stuff. I’m not recovered from my Eating Disorder, so obviously I still worry about my weight, food, exercise – but I got a LOT better with that part too. I worry about motherhood – will I ever be a mother, will I be a good mother, will I still have a life etc. I sometimes worry about my relationship, my family, my job – things that are important to me and I am scared that they could be affected in some way. But – is there anything I can do about it? Not about the way of life, no, but about my attitude.

Bena 2013 060The point is, that most of the time worrying just makes things worse. And it does not change anything. What DOES change things, is the way you handle it. If you are able to relax about things that worry you and let negative thoughts and feelings go, you will feel so much stronger and happier. Fat days? Moody days? They happen. And they pass. Everything pass. Messy kitchen for a day. Missed a planned laundry day. Had a disagreement with the man. Negative atmosphere in the office. Let it go, relax. I know not everything is so easy to just let go. Some things in life are serious and tough and believe me, I was confronted with some drastic things in my past. Still, or ESPECIALLY in such times it is important to stay grounded and keep the head together. If you manage to relax a bit and let worries/anxieties/negativity go, it will be easier to deal with.

6. Be spontaneous.

This one took a while for me as well. But I am happy to say that today, I am a more spontaneous person. Not all the time of course, but most of the time when I get asked for a spontaneous event (lunch, dinner, trip, adventure) – I’m in. At least I try to. Sometimes I have plans and sometimes I prioritize my me time. I don’t feel the urge to join everything and be everywhere, but if it sounds like a good thing with good people, then I am in.

A more than less spontaneous trip to Greece for a wedding (2011)

A more than less spontaneous trip to Greece for a wedding

We all have plans, but plans can make us inflexible and attached to those. There’s no room for surprises, interruptions or adventures. In my opinion, the best things happen when they are not planned. Because they surprise us and exceed our expectations – we expected our plan, but life interrupted. And yes, some interruptions may not be fun or positive. But I’m talking about fun things. Visits of friends. A spontaneous party. And yes, even when it means skipping a planned workout or dumping other plans – go for it. These moments are the ones that don’t come back.

spontanSource

Since incorporating more spontaneity in my life, I feel much more FREE. Free from stubborn plans and free to do what I feel like. Of course I have my plan with work and workouts and appointments. I also love my me time and I need lots of it – but I DO schedule free weekends, free evenings and lunchbreaks. If they stay unbooked, then that’s great, means I can use the time for me. If I feel like calling up someone, or if someone calls me up – then I have time and a mind to go for it. I figure, that people around me feel more comfortable since they know they are welcome ANYTIME to visit me. And it’s not that awkward feeling like you just ‘interrupted’ someone’s plans.

samuAnd that all includes food and workouts. If for once, you don’t eat or exercise as planned, nothing will happen. You won’t get fat or fall off the healthy wagon completely. Nope. But you’ll have some precious time and fun. And YES it’s ME saying that🙂

7. Take over responsibility.

Yes, you should do that by the age of 35. Believe me, I was the most irresponsible person for many years. I seriously only cared about my clothes, how I look, friends and parties. I did some jobs to stay alive, but I had no idea what responsibility means. I kept whining about problems I had with my lack of money and sometimes my Eating Disorder, but I refused to realize that it was ME who has to CHANGE things. I didn’t see that I had a choice and that it was about time to face it and deal with it. I just kept on smiling and whining.

Haha, sorry. I was young.

Haha, sorry. I was young. And dressed as a Aerobic Queen.

I think it’s ok to live a little careless at a certain age, maybe in teenage years or so. But when I look around and see my blends who are taking over big responsibilities in their lifes at the age of 21 or 22, then I feel a little ashamed when I look back on how I behaved at the same age.

Some things in life we can not control and sometimes, life throws huge challenges our way which are not easy to deal with. I know that. But in many, many, many situations we DO have a choice and it’s OUR decision what we do about it. It’s no ones fault, if we are unhappy because we don’t change things that we don’t like. I was a gem in playing the victim and blame everything and everyone but me of my unhappiness. The day I realized that my happiness lays in my own hands, everything changed. I took over responsibility and I changed things for the better. And I never looked back. Do it. Choose happiness and don’t blame the world. You have a choice, make a decision and don’t wait as long as I did!

choiceSource

I learned so much regarding this topic and that’s why I am happy today.

8. Talk about it. Smile.

I am sure you all have amazing friends. And I know they are always there for you no matter what bothers you. You do the same right?

Take advantage of that. If you feel sad, weak, angry, happy – talk to your friends, family loved ones. I refused to talk about my problems for way too long, cause I just didn’t want to ‘bother’ anyone. But hey, that’s what friends are for! Reach out to them. Talk about your struggles or about your excitment. It’s so fullfilling as a friend to feel helpful. If one of my friends comes to me to talk, I feel honored and I do anything for the world to make him/her feel better.

I don’t have thoudands of friends, and I don’t feel the need to have that many – but I have a bunch of REALLY good ones and I know I can relate on them 100%. I love that they are even closer to me than in the past since I talk about everything more openly. As said – that’s what friends are for.

Last but not least – SMILE. Even if you have a bad day. It’s no ones fault. And if we smile, we get one back. Makes everything better, right? Even if you have smiling wrinkles all over your face like me – hey, that’s from all that wisdom in me!!🙂

LuciswHave a fantastic weekend friends!!

Do you choose to be happy every day?

Are you a spontaneous person?

What is on the weekend plan?

xxx

Lucie

24 thoughts on “8 things I learned since turning 30 – Part #2

  1. Have I told you lately how much I adore you? Because you seriously are like the big sister I never had. I used to be SO afraid of getting older, but now that I’m here, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t trade it and go back to my younger self — I wouldn’t want to give up the things I learned along the way. This past year was especially good with making more of a conscious effort to choose happiness, although I could probably learn to be a little more spontaneous. Hopefully it’ll come with more time🙂

    Oh, and I’ll trade you weather… We’re dealing with -25C here.

    • Thank you love! And you know that I am so happy to have finally found my long lost little sister🙂
      Getting older can be scary, though I feel that it has a lot of advantages too. Learning and getting wiser is one of them – and being spontaneous!🙂
      Girl, -25…..I’d be dead!

  2. thekoshercavegirl says:

    What a great post!! I definitely need to work on that whole “being spontaneous” thing. It’s so out of my comfort zone (I’m a total planner) but it’s definitely something that I need to do! Thank you for sharing!

  3. Lucie, you are so wise, and I so love reading your posts🙂 I found that happiness breeds happiness – even if you have to fake it until you make it. I make a conscious effort to be happier every day and take pleasure in the little things in life. I’m a total planner, but I try to incorporate a little spontaneity sometimes, and above all, value and hold dear the precious (planned or unplanned) time spent with friends and family. I think I need to work on talking to people about things – my closest friends tell me I’m very closed, so that would enhance relationships for me, I think. Have a happy weekend Lucie – enjoy the snow!🙂

    • Thank you Poppy! What you say here is just as wise!
      And I wish that you can open up to your friends – it took me some time and work and braveness – but all I got back was encouragement and support, at least from the ones that ARE my friends.

  4. Alliana says:

    Wise wise wise🙂 You are stunning when you smile- no one more beautiful in the world at that Moment. I don’t really choose to be happy everyday- I think happiness is a by product of living a life that is full and gives you meaning😉 I love spontaneity! It is so enriching to take hold of new possibilities when they arise. I adore your blog- it is my favourite! You are wonderful and so genuine- I love and respect that! Smile on Xo

  5. A beautiful post to go with a beautiful soul. xo

  6. Love this!! I’m working on my spontaneity as well. It’s not easy when you’ve grown up very cautious and set in your ways, but it feels amazing to just let go and allow life to unfold in front of you!
    I’m turning 30 next year and as cliche as it sounds, it’s definitely an eye opener and a moment to reflect on where we are and where we are headed!
    Stay warm over there!!! If anything, it creates a lovely holiday feel🙂

    • I can tell you, turning 30 is great🙂 not only for the big party but as you say, it’s a great point of time to reflect and appreciate all the accomplishments – and also to see where some more work is needed!

  7. Definitely a great post lady! I’m definitely working on the spontaneity thing – I still lean towards having my plans all sorted out, but sometimes you just need to throw everything to the wind!
    And I definitely agree with the first point on worrying. Lately I’ve been ignoring worries and trying to relax and go with whatever comes my way. One of my favourite quotes relating to it is “worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” – so true!

    • I absolutely love this quote Sam!!
      I know spontaneity isn’t the easiest thing, it’s way easier to stick to plans – it gives us a safe feeling. Though once you’re able to let go, you’ll see how fun it is to just go with the flow!

  8. Awesome post! I’m definitely working on the whole process of letting go (I’m a champion of the freak-out, especially after this year) and being more spontaneous (DC is, like, the most regimented and non-spontaneous place ever). It’s awesome that you’ve made such great strides towards health and happiness over the years — more power to you!

    • Thank you Lillian! I think it’s even more difficult if you live in a planning-obsessed society🙂 but even more will it feel great and freeing if you can just follow along what life planned for you!

  9. Um so you just made me realize so much about my own self right now! You are an incredible person Lucie and everyone has there learning curve some of us learn quick but it may be because we were faced with a hardship and had to get through it, otherwise you are one amazing gal and I admire you! That smile, that beauty inside and out, you are a true inspiration! Love your way C

    • Thank you so much for your kind words Courtney! You are so right about the learning curve. I do regret sometimes that I didn’t learn a few things earlier, bit better late than never….YOU are a big inspiration yourself!!

  10. cottercrunch says:

    you my friend are amazing. It takes a lot to surrender all those things. But in doing so, we grow into who we truly are! I love getting older for that reason.

    xxoo

  11. Tu es une amazant grand souer! (That is the worst French ever). Je suis desolet!

  12. […] 5. Next, two brilliant posts entitled ’8 Things I’ve Learned since Turning 30′, by Fit Swiss Chick: Part I and Part II. […]

  13. Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli says:

    I definitely agree with you on the spontaneity thing…it’s nice to have plans sometimes, but other times, you just have to get out there and live in the moment! And wow, that quote about making mistakes? So true! I LOVE that last picture…you are so gorgeous! :X

  14. […] 8 things I learned since turning 30 (fitswisschick.com) […]

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