6. December 2013 by swissfitchick
Happy Fridaaaaaay! I was SO waiting for this weekend to come and so happy that it’s finally here! Even though it means dealing with snow and freezing my butt off.
But we’re not talking about the weather today, we’re talking a little more about my age 🙂 I’ve got 4 more wise pieces of advice for you! If you missed round #1, you can read it here!
5. Let go and relax.
This one is something I worked on the hardest in the past few years and I am so happy that I get better and better each day. Things I was worried about in the past, day in and day out really don’t have me anymore or at least not in that dimension. I used to worry about what others think of me. I used to worry about my moods and why I had swings all the time. I used to worry about how neat my place and closet looks and I used to worry about my plans – that they would not be interrupted and that everything works JUST the way I planned it.
And so much more.
I still worry about stuff. I’m not recovered from my Eating Disorder, so obviously I still worry about my weight, food, exercise – but I got a LOT better with that part too. I worry about motherhood – will I ever be a mother, will I be a good mother, will I still have a life etc. I sometimes worry about my relationship, my family, my job – things that are important to me and I am scared that they could be affected in some way. But – is there anything I can do about it? Not about the way of life, no, but about my attitude.
The point is, that most of the time worrying just makes things worse. And it does not change anything. What DOES change things, is the way you handle it. If you are able to relax about things that worry you and let negative thoughts and feelings go, you will feel so much stronger and happier. Fat days? Moody days? They happen. And they pass. Everything pass. Messy kitchen for a day. Missed a planned laundry day. Had a disagreement with the man. Negative atmosphere in the office. Let it go, relax. I know not everything is so easy to just let go. Some things in life are serious and tough and believe me, I was confronted with some drastic things in my past. Still, or ESPECIALLY in such times it is important to stay grounded and keep the head together. If you manage to relax a bit and let worries/anxieties/negativity go, it will be easier to deal with.
6. Be spontaneous.
This one took a while for me as well. But I am happy to say that today, I am a more spontaneous person. Not all the time of course, but most of the time when I get asked for a spontaneous event (lunch, dinner, trip, adventure) – I’m in. At least I try to. Sometimes I have plans and sometimes I prioritize my me time. I don’t feel the urge to join everything and be everywhere, but if it sounds like a good thing with good people, then I am in.
We all have plans, but plans can make us inflexible and attached to those. There’s no room for surprises, interruptions or adventures. In my opinion, the best things happen when they are not planned. Because they surprise us and exceed our expectations – we expected our plan, but life interrupted. And yes, some interruptions may not be fun or positive. But I’m talking about fun things. Visits of friends. A spontaneous party. And yes, even when it means skipping a planned workout or dumping other plans – go for it. These moments are the ones that don’t come back.
Since incorporating more spontaneity in my life, I feel much more FREE. Free from stubborn plans and free to do what I feel like. Of course I have my plan with work and workouts and appointments. I also love my me time and I need lots of it – but I DO schedule free weekends, free evenings and lunchbreaks. If they stay unbooked, then that’s great, means I can use the time for me. If I feel like calling up someone, or if someone calls me up – then I have time and a mind to go for it. I figure, that people around me feel more comfortable since they know they are welcome ANYTIME to visit me. And it’s not that awkward feeling like you just ‘interrupted’ someone’s plans.
And that all includes food and workouts. If for once, you don’t eat or exercise as planned, nothing will happen. You won’t get fat or fall off the healthy wagon completely. Nope. But you’ll have some precious time and fun. And YES it’s ME saying that 🙂
7. Take over responsibility.
Yes, you should do that by the age of 35. Believe me, I was the most irresponsible person for many years. I seriously only cared about my clothes, how I look, friends and parties. I did some jobs to stay alive, but I had no idea what responsibility means. I kept whining about problems I had with my lack of money and sometimes my Eating Disorder, but I refused to realize that it was ME who has to CHANGE things. I didn’t see that I had a choice and that it was about time to face it and deal with it. I just kept on smiling and whining.
I think it’s ok to live a little careless at a certain age, maybe in teenage years or so. But when I look around and see my blends who are taking over big responsibilities in their lifes at the age of 21 or 22, then I feel a little ashamed when I look back on how I behaved at the same age.
Some things in life we can not control and sometimes, life throws huge challenges our way which are not easy to deal with. I know that. But in many, many, many situations we DO have a choice and it’s OUR decision what we do about it. It’s no ones fault, if we are unhappy because we don’t change things that we don’t like. I was a gem in playing the victim and blame everything and everyone but me of my unhappiness. The day I realized that my happiness lays in my own hands, everything changed. I took over responsibility and I changed things for the better. And I never looked back. Do it. Choose happiness and don’t blame the world. You have a choice, make a decision and don’t wait as long as I did!
I learned so much regarding this topic and that’s why I am happy today.
8. Talk about it. Smile.
I am sure you all have amazing friends. And I know they are always there for you no matter what bothers you. You do the same right?
Take advantage of that. If you feel sad, weak, angry, happy – talk to your friends, family loved ones. I refused to talk about my problems for way too long, cause I just didn’t want to ‘bother’ anyone. But hey, that’s what friends are for! Reach out to them. Talk about your struggles or about your excitment. It’s so fullfilling as a friend to feel helpful. If one of my friends comes to me to talk, I feel honored and I do anything for the world to make him/her feel better.
I don’t have thoudands of friends, and I don’t feel the need to have that many – but I have a bunch of REALLY good ones and I know I can relate on them 100%. I love that they are even closer to me than in the past since I talk about everything more openly. As said – that’s what friends are for.
Last but not least – SMILE. Even if you have a bad day. It’s no ones fault. And if we smile, we get one back. Makes everything better, right? Even if you have smiling wrinkles all over your face like me – hey, that’s from all that wisdom in me!! 🙂
Do you choose to be happy every day?
Are you a spontaneous person?
What is on the weekend plan?