17. October 2013 by swissfitchick
One big issue in my Eating Disorder was, that I disliked myself. Most of the time, I thought I was too fat, too ugly, not good enough, not perfect enough. Comparing myself with everyone who was around me just made it worse- I always found that they were ‘better’ than me.
I didn’t feel this low self-esteem every day, but there were days (for example when the number on the scale didn’t meet my expectations) when it was worse than on others. Especially on days when I was emotional about something, then I was so annoyed by myself. I wanted to be the smiley, cheerful, smart and good looking girl EVERY DAY. I never allowed myself to be in a bad mood, nor to be sad or emotional. I had to be skinny and smiling ALL.THE.TIME.
The paradox thing when I look at it today is, that these were exactly the days when I would have needed my love even more. The sad days, the emotional moments, the ‘fat’ days – these were the days when I would have needed a special treatment, relaxation, self-love and just my acceptance for having a bad day.
Are you guilty of blaming yourself for not being in a good mood, or feeling down or sluggish? I am still, but I got a lot better. I think on these days we need to give ourselves a hug, cause THAT is what we need. No words to beat us down, no hardcore-punishment workout, no comparison and no checking off the to do list. Just some love.
So in my recovery, I found a few reasons why it is really important that you are nice to yourself.
1.) Imagine you are your best friend, or a child. If this friend would come to you, telling you she/he had a bad day, feeling sad or not good about her/himself – would you beat this person with words, telling him/her to get over it and stop complaining? No you wouldn’t. You would offer your help, comfort, a talk, a walk or whatever your friend needs. Treat yourself like a good friend, cause that’s exactly how much you are worth too!!!
2.) If you are nice to yourself, your day will only get better. On the other hand, if you keep telling you how much you suck for not being perfect, your day will end in a misery. Make the best out of that day, even if it is with a small thing like a home spa treatment (pedi, mani), a walk outside, an easy run, a phone call with someone you love, reading a good book or if possible leave off work a little earlier and go shop something nice for you. I am sure you will instantly feel more in peace with yourself because you took off some time for yourself instead of disrespecting your feelings. Oh, and – here are some GREAT tips from Amanda on how to deal with the ‘fat’ days….
3.) So speaking of respect: Be nice to yourself by respecting your feelings. If you wake up feeling blue, there is a reason. You may not instantly know what, but your soul and your heart is trying to tell you something. Listen. Don’t bury these feelings with food, harshness, a mask or with overdoing something (work, exercise) – FACE IT. Try to dig deeper and see what’s bothering you. It is the only way to feel better soon and to eliminate it by accepting it. You don’t even have to do something about it, just look at it, feel it and try to figure out what you need. For me, it helps me TONS when I just ACCEPT, that today isn’t my day. I don’t raise big expectations, the only thing I want is to make the best out of it and to take care of myself. This day will pass like any other day and it is my choice to make it as good as possible by being aware of my feelings and my needs.
4.) Your self-esteem will increase if you are nice to yourself. Make sure you let yourself know EVERY DAY how strong, beautiful and precious you are. I do it in my meditation, but there are so many ways to affirm to yourself that you are WORTH it. I know that there are days where we SO not feel it and believe me, I have days when I hate myself and the least I want is to tell myself the contrary. BUT these are the moments when we change our mindsets! Write it on a post-it and stick it on your fridge, mirror, desk…..whatever. Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself! It might be strange in the beginning, but it works! Write it down. If you like journaling, never forget to add a line saying how strong and great person you are. Because you are. If you start to like that self-love attitude, you will start to feel 1000 times better about yourself, I promise. It takes time and patience, but slowly and surely your mind will transform and you will feel a better self-esteem. Try it!
This is a work in progress, also for me. We live in a society where huge expectations lay on all of us and everyone tries to be ‘perfect’. Fact is, we already ARE perfect – we only need to be ourselves. Always. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. Haha.
Do you practice ‘self-love’?
What is your favorite thing to do for yourself?
Tell me as many things as possible you love about yourself!