Want to Fall In Love? Start With Loving Yourself. – Guest Post

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26. September 2013 by swissfitchick

Marcela De Vivo is a freelance writer from Los Angeles and works with Miami Spa, Bellezza, to write about a number of topics such as beauty, relationships and self-improvement. She loves to share her tips on how to improve your outlook on life and on staying positive.

Want to Fall In Love? Start With Loving Yourself.

Whether they’ll admit it or not, almost everybody wants romantic love in their life. However, love is not something you can choose to have or not have in most cases, and it seems to arrive in life when you least expect it, and often when you’re not even looking for it.

The idea that you need to love yourself before you fall in love is one you’ve probably heard before. While there are certainly people in relationships with negative views of themselves, love can be complicated, and it can be incredibly difficult to build a healthy relationship with another person if you don’t care about yourself first.

Romantic love is something almost everybody longs for at one time or another in their life.

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Image Courtesy of Flickr

Self-Esteem Issues

Men and women with self-esteem issues that are involved in relationships can often find it hard to believe that their partners truly care for and love them. A person with self-esteem issues will often in their own mind believe that they aren’t good enough for their partner and overcompensate in other ways that aren’t healthy for the person or the relationship.

Individuals with high self-esteem are also more likely to take rejection better – a part of dating and seeking a partner that’s pretty much unavoidable no matter what you do.

A person with high self-esteem is also more likely to believe that they will find love when the time is right instead of believing that they’ll never find the right person to share their life with. That type of negative thinking can really take a toll on a person’s psyche over time.

Body Image 

It’s a myth that only women have body image issues. The truth is both men and women can have body image issues that keep them from developing a good sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

While many men and women suffer from different body image problems, there are some common issues that routinely affect both sexes. Examples of these body image issues include being overweight, being too tall or short or having negative feelings about things they can’t really change like the shape of their nose, color of their eyes, and so on.

Body image issues can keep men and women from developing healthy relationships because they can keep people from being close with their partner. If a person is embarrassed by their body, whether it’s something they have control over or not, they won’t project the confidence that most people are looking for in a partner.

Body image issues are a tricky subject. If you can change something you don’t like about yourself, make a plan to do it. If you’re embarrassed about your body because you’ve gained weight, make an exercise and diet plan that you can stick with.

However, you also need to take the time to understand that even if you don’t change, you do deserve love, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up. It won’t help. In fact, you’ll just be bringing more unhappiness into your life.

Body image issues can affect both men and women.

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Image Courtesy of Pixabay

Life Purpose 

When somebody doesn’t feel like they have a purpose in life, they’re more likely to be depressed and feel negatively about themselves. Having a purpose – a reason to get out of bed in the morning – is something that everybody needs to lead a healthy, successful life.

Your purpose doesn’t have to be like everybody else’s. Perhaps you get up in the morning because of your children that you love and enjoy caring. Maybe you’re passionate about a job or even a hobby.

If you don’t have that reason to get up in the morning, you need to find it. Something as simple as going on a vacation, adventuring around the city you live in, joining a club or group – anything works as long as you enjoy it.

Finding and having that purpose will also make you much more attractive to potential partners – but you should do it for you, not for them.

Take Time to Understand Yourself

Before you can understand somebody else and give them what they need in order to build a healthy relationship, you need to take the time understand yourself, and the complexities within you.

People are complex – they have mixed emotions, and feelings are often fuzzy. Even the most confident person you meet has some negative feelings about themselves.

Understanding how complex you are and your feelings and emotions aren’t always clear-cut will help to prepare you for a healthy relationship. Understanding yourself will also help you better communicate your feelings and opinions to your partner – something that’s essential for building a strong, lasting relationship.

– Marcela De Vivo

2 thoughts on “Want to Fall In Love? Start With Loving Yourself. – Guest Post

  1. Such a great guest post! I can agree that loving yourself needs to come before everyone else! My relationship has had some major bumps, not to mention I was divorced at age 23. Loving yourself is the beginning of a life long friendship and brings so much happiness!

  2. Wonderful guest post. I have always agreed that you can’t truly love someone else until you learn to love yourself. This is why I make sure to take time for me even a few minutes each day because taking care of myself is important in keeping ME happy which makes me better able to make someone else happy (I.E. my fiance!)

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