Thankful Thursday#20 – To compare, Comparison, Comparing

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21. March 2013 by swissfitchick

Hey friends!

Another round of Thankful Thursday is taking place today. Hosted by my friend Jessie, who is back from her trip to the U.S.!

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On Monday, I read a great post from Kierston at Candyfit about the Comparison Trap. It is such a great subject and I think it is so present in our world today.

I must say, that I am thankful that the comparison trap is far away today from what it used to be to me not long ago.

I was always comparing myself. Not only regarding workouts, body or food, also regarding my work, my clothes, how I do my household etc.I always found something or someone who was better than me or I found myself being lame or not good enough. Don’t get me wrong – that STILL happens a lot. But not as much as it used to. The times, when I am happy about what I do get more and more frequent. No matter what it is. If it is how I keep my appartment clean (which is clean and neat but compared to my Mom’s a huge mess) how I look (which is totally fine but compared to a zero size model I am probably fat) how I eat (which is much better than it used to be, but compared to others not disciplined/enough/healthy enough) – I could go on and on.

I do step into that trap here and there, but I realize it immediately. Sometimes, I take it as an inspiration, a motivation to change something that doesn’t make me happy. Something, that I see a other person is doing or is having that I wished for. I try to make his/her success my motivation and inspiration instead of beating myself up that I can not do it.

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If it is something that I wish I had or were, but it won’t be possible to ever get it, I stop wishing for it. I smile at this person and am happy for her/him to have this specific thing and look at myself to tell myself, what I got. I am writing this now as if it was the easiest thing to do but I am the first who knows, that it’s not. But the more we get aware of it and try NOT to compare, the better we get at it.

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There’s always something we got and others don’t and the other way round. We are individual and unique and that’s why the world is such an interesting place. Comparison makes you miserable. I, personally made that experience for years, I was always miserable because I could not see what I got or what I am capable to achieve. Today, if I dislike something on myself, I try to change it, if I can not change it, I accept it. This is difficult and hard, but it is the only possible way. We can not buy a new body or a new face or a talent. We have what we have but we can be the best version of ourselves.

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That is what I want to achieve. To be the best version of myself. I am not there yet, but I get closer every day, I can absolutely feel it. Will I be perfect then? NO!! Do I want to be perfect?? No thanks. But I want to be happy about myself and this is the best version.

If you stop being envious, you will free yourself to match new goals and to do progress. Envy stops us from doing steps forward and gives us a bitter glance in our face. Envy goes hand in hand with judging. I am judged a lot, still. Many people create their opinions about how I live my life  – and I don’t even know where they get the knowledge from, since they are not with me 24 hours. I don’t know what motivates people to judge others, but I can imagine that jealousy and envy are part of it.

Whatever – I want to be happy for others and I wish others to be happy for me. Prior to it all, I want to be happy with myself.

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Do you step into the comparison trap sometimes?

I do, but not as much as in my past.

Tell me one thing about you that you know is beautiful or you’re good at!! No, TWO!! I want to read TWO!

I am quick-witted/quick at repartee, and I like my legs.

xxx

Lucie

28 thoughts on “Thankful Thursday#20 – To compare, Comparison, Comparing

  1. I really love this post because it is so true, and no matter how many times we say we need to avoid comparison I think that everyone struggles a little bit with this. I have definitely gotten better over the years at giving myself a reality check when I fall into the comparison trap and remembering to give myself some love and acknowledgement. Oh and I love my ability to relate to others and the way I handle stress!

  2. Thanks so much for the post, I really needed to read it. I work very hard to stop myself constantly comparing with others but this post has given me the kick I need to try a little harder! Thanks Lucie.

    • You’re welcome Claire and as long as you are aware of it your work will pay off! It is so hard to step away from these habits, it takes a lot of time and patience!

  3. This is a great post – I think we’ re all guilty of falling into this trap at some point or another. I’m good at being kind to others and giving advice to a friend in need, and I’m good at working hard for something that I want in life🙂

  4. Greta says:

    I love your Thursday posts as they are always very inspiring! This one is no exception! I also want to congratulate you on your progress – you are doing awesomely, Lucie (nom nom, I love pronouncing your name the correct way – taste like macaroons – hihihi)!!!
    I’m very bad at not comparing. V.E.R.Y. Everyone around seems perfect, but not me – agh, sorry I’m just having my “girly” days and the world is color in black today.
    Anyways, two things that I still like are my new nail color – dark blueberry🙂
    And my arms – man, they strong!!
    Thank you again for this. I will read your post again – in better mood😉
    xo

    • Oh Girl, you know that I know how you feel. Comparison is still e bug issue for me too, and it takes a lot of effort to stop! I wish I could let you see yourself through my eyes. You would love you!!🙂
      And I am so proud of your arms and nailpolish, yay!!

  5. It can be so difficult not to compare myself to others, especially in the blogging world of food. I do my best to be true to me, though, and to listen to MY body and what my mind and body need, as opposed to what I think they “should need.”

  6. Danielle says:

    Love this post Lucie! I am so guilty of getting stuck in that comparison trap too especially when it comes to what I eat and how I look but when I consciously make an effort to stop myself it is amazing how much better I actually feel about myself!

  7. Great post, Lucie; and that quote by Einstein is one of my favorites🙂 I’ve definitely been guilty of falling into the comparison trap in the past, and while I still find myself sometimes getting influenced by the things I see other people doing, it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I think one of the things that helped me the most was realizing that doing what other people do doesn’t make me feel my best, and that I needed to focus on doing what was good for me instead.

  8. Beautiful post Lucie! While I’ve gotten better with it over the years, I absolutely get caught up in the comparison trap sometimes. Especially with all the rock solid ab “fitspo” pictures – I sometimes wonder if I should alter my diet to make that possible for me. But in the end, I remember that I’m doing what’s best for my body, and what makes me happy in the long run!

  9. What a beautiful post! You really spoke from the heart🙂 I feel there is always a way to BETTER yourself but the comparison is what used to get me into an anxiety meltdown! I am so proud of you and all that you have accomplished🙂 I to have come a long way from the comparison trap and now see myself as the student of life and not to ever compare myself but LEARN for myself. YOU ROCK! Love + Shine CourtStar

  10. Oh Lucie I love this! The comparison trap is so AWFUL! Like you, I’m a lot better now than I was, but I still have trouble. Am I healthy “enough,” can I eat better, be more peaceful, be nicer, be more productive, etc? It can drive you insane! I love your challenge to end it–recognizing when you are doing it is a huge step in the right direction. We are all exactly where we are supposed to be–end of story.

    My two things are: I am a pretty great cook, and I have really strong back muscles thanks to years of swimming and yoga!

    Love you!!!!

    • Thank you for that beautiful comment Lovie!! I am absolutely with you, it can really drive one crazy. So important to see that what we are in present is perfect. Oh wow, I can totally imagine that you have a beautiful back AND I know from your blog that our eats always are fantastic!! Love you !

  11. Ana says:

    Loved this one… and it’s so important to me!!
    I keep comparing myself… I don’t want to, and I only notice it later, but I do it many times with other people’s body… I wanted to have thinner legs, with no cellulite… but with all the exercise I do, I still haven’t accomplished – and don’t know if I will due to water retention.

    However, I do love my stomach🙂 I could be more defined, but I like it the way it’s now! And I’m good at working in pressure ahahah, it always goes fast…and well😉

    • Thing is, that we still don’t get what others have, as long as we compare. Either we need to change what makes us unhappy, or we have to accept it. This is hard, but it works – and I think it is a wonderful thing that you like your stomach!! SO important to love all these bits of our bodies – and every woman has a spot that she would like to change, I am sure!!

  12. BEAUTIFUL post from a beautiful woman–both inside and out! Love this, Lucie, and thank you for the reminder–a reminder I need every hour of every day. We’re tempted to compare every facet of our lives with others–whether it be hair color, wardrobe, job status, money, dress size, husband/boyfriend, clean eats/not-so-clean eats, travel plans etc. etc. etc.–the urge to compare is tugging at us everywhere we turn! I think that we, as bloggers, are even more prone to comparing, especially since we experience one another’s lives through our screens every day. It would be impossible to not to feel twinges of envy or unsatisfaction from time to time. But I think the most important thing is what you said here: “we are individual and unique and that’s why the world is such an interesting place.” Amen! We should celebrate who we ARE right now, right in this moment, and thank God that we’re not all carbon copies of one another. How boring would that be?! This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to change, improve or reach new goals; rather, we can chose to accept the present and be at peace in the moment. We can celebrate being *perfectly imperfect.*🙂

    Huge hugs to you!!❤ xoxo

    • Thank you so much for that wonderful comment!! It is very g
      Hard NOT to compare anymor but as you say, we can take it as a challenge rather than getting frustrated about it.

  13. We definitely live in a world full of comparisons. Sometimes we aren’t even aware of what we are doing until that wave of envy/jealousy comes over us. But is it any surprise when we are almost constantly bombarded with images that we can never match up to?! (I’m looking at YOU photoshop and your misleading airbrushing! LIES!!)

    When I was a teenager, I compared myself to EVERYONE (which I think is what most girls that age tend to do), I’m just glad that I was able to finally see that that is no way to live life. You are given one life to live. Why waste it wishing you had someone else’s? That thought has definitely been enough to motivate me to make the most out of what I have.

    I’ve always liked the color of my eyes, my hair, and my dimples, but it wasn’t until just recently that I took notice of an actual body PART! After getting multiple comments on a self shot I uploaded to Instagram mentioning my shoulder muscles, for the first time, I stepped back and actually LOOKED at the picture…and you know what? I DO have some pretty rockin’ shoulders! When did THAT happen?!😉 And well, I do like to think of myself as somewhat witty! At least I know that you are a fan anyways!😉

    • Oh girl, I looooove you!!! I absolutel admire you for your attitude and approach to the whole comparison thing. It’s exactly how we all should think about it!!
      And YES your eyes and shoulders are so beautiful!!! Well and I couldn’t live without your humor anymore, you know that🙂

  14. […] IN my meditation and training my mind in self-confidence, in sense of self-worth and peace. I stopped comparing myself to others which gave me SO MUCH MORE freedom in my mind and my soul. Appreciating myself, my life and my […]

  15. […] completely stopped comparing myself to others. If it is the appearance, the training performance, my blog, my work, my home, my life – I […]

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